Help Me Heal

Chapter 38

"How did today go for you?" Hank asked Alexa at the end of the first shift at Voight Detective Services. They were standing in the reception area, Alexa packing up her things.

"For me? Very good. I enjoyed it. Don't feel like I ran into any big problems. Do you think I did okay?"

He nodded to show that she was welcome. "Yes, good work. Enjoy your evening."

"Thanks. And you too," Alexa said, now ready to leave. "I'll just say goodnight to Erin before I go."

Hank was standing in the doorway to the bullpen, his foot keeping the door open. He kept it there as he moved aside for Alexa to step through.

"I'm heading home, Erin. Have a good night."

Erin was at her desk, still working. She looked up from her computer screen. "Thanks, Alexa. Goodnight."

"See you tomorrow," Hank added as the receptionist headed out of the building.

"She did well today," Erin opined.

"Yeah, she seemed to. Come on, let's go home."

"Just let me send this email," Erin said, returning her attention to the screen. "What are you doing tonight?"

Hank walked over to her desk. "I was messaging Kalinda about that earlier. She suggested going out for a few drinks, and I agreed. Haven't been out with her for a while."

"Sounds good. One night, invite her to our place and I'll cook. Jay can come too. I know you said Kalinda loves doing the hosting, but still, I'd like to have a go at it."

"We'll do that," Hank said appreciatively as she shut down her computer. "Let's get out of here."

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Hank had driven home with Erin right behind him. That allowed them to walk into the house together.

"Got time to have a coffee with me before you head out?" Erin asked him as they took their coats off.

"Yeah, I can do that. Can you get the machine going? I'll head up and take a shower."

"Alright."

Hank hurried up the stairs. In truth, he didn't want to spend too long at home before heading to Kalinda's place, but he hadn't been able to say no to Erin. He supposed that was a sign of their ever-strengthening bond. Dads always found it hard to say no to their daughters, that much he knew.

Entering his bedroom, he set about selecting his outfit for the evening. He chose a white shirt with blue pin stripes, and smart dark blue pants. When he laid them out on the bed, he happened to glance at his nightstand. What he saw made him freeze.

A framed photograph of Camille had been on that nightstand pretty much since she had passed away. There were several reasons why looking at it now made him freeze. Guilt was the main one. Guilt because he realised that he couldn't remember exactly when the last time he had thought about her was. He had always thought about her every day, apparently until recently. It was a real shock, and he now felt he had let her down.

There was another layer of guilt, too. He'd slept with Kalinda in this bed. He'd had sex with Kalinda in this bed. There was no way she hadn't noticed a picture of his former wife looking at her, yet she had shown the class not to comment on it. Should he have moved the picture before having Kalinda over? Or would that have been disrespectful to Camille?

There was yet another layer of guilt too. A part of his mind was saying it was time to move on. Another part was saying it was awful to even think that. He didn't know which part he ought to listen to, but even having the thought of moving on in his mind made him feel bad.