Help Me Heal

Chapter 21

The next morning, Hank had mixed emotions. It was not official yet, but he knew in his own mind that he was done with police work. It was a matter of time now. He would be leaving Chicago PD, Intelligence and his people behind. Saying goodbye to them was going to be painful, but he knew they would be fine without him. Having someone new in charge of the unit would not change the fact that they were good police, and good people.

Focus on the positives, he told himself as he headed downstairs for breakfast. There was a new venture to look forward to, working with Erin and possibly Kalinda. Whether Kalinda wanted in or not, he was prepared to accept her decision without argument. He was aware that asking her to throw in a job that she only just taken in order to come and work as a private detective for a brand new start-up was a lot. Frankly, now that the initial excitement had worn off and he had taken time to try and consider it from her point of view he figured it was more likely that she would say no than yes. And that was fine. If Kalinda didn't want in, Jay was an option. He was sure that by now Erin would have told him what was on the cards, and they were apparently set on working together again.

"Morning," Erin said when he walked into the kitchen. "There's coffee on the table for you. I'll put some toast in now."

"Morning. Thank you," Hank said, sitting down at the table. "Having slept on it, I'm not sure Kalinda will want in with us. It's a lot to ask of her."

"I did think last night when we were talking. Didn't want to burst your bubble," Erin said as she loaded bread into the toaster.

"Have you let Jay know?"

"We were texting about it last night. He wants in if you'll have him. Said he'd work for you wherever you are."

Nice of him, Hank thought dryly. There was a conversation to be had with Jay over his behaviour towards Hailey. It had been out of line, and Hank wasn't going to have Erin treated in that manner. Jay was going to be made aware of that in no uncertain terms. "We'll talk when he gets back here. Which is going to be when?"

"We don't know yet," she said with a sigh.

A couple of minutes later, Erin served him with buttered toast and sat opposite him at the table.

"Hank, how much thought have you put into getting into an interracial relationship?"

"What?" he asked through his first mouthful.

"You heard what I said. How much thought have you put into it?"

"I haven't thought about it at all," he admitted. "I mean, Kalinda's race isn't something I've considered, not being a racist and all."

Erin grinned. "Obviously I know you're not a racist. That's not at all what I meant. You don't have to be a racist to consider her race. What I'm saying is Kalinda's background may be a lot different to yours. Her beliefs may be different to yours. Her life experiences will definitely be different to yours. These are things you need to think about if you're getting serious with her."

"You make a good point," Hank said thoughtfully. He had no idea what religion, if any, Kalinda followed. His impression was that she didn't follow one, at least not strictly. She had never mentioned prayer or any other kind of religious practice. He knew she drank alcohol, and they had already had sex outside of marriage. Nonetheless, it was something to talk to her about.

"Without a doubt, she will have experienced racism," Erin was saying. "You may experience it too now that you're with her. Even though attitudes are changing for the better, there are still people who will look at you as though you're in the wrong because you're with a brown woman."

That thought angered Hank. She was right though, he realised. "It's a conversation I'll have to have with her. Thank you for bringing it up and prompting me. You're right that it's very important. The thought of people being racist towards her boils my blood. I'm sure you're right that it has happened though."