Breathe in, Breathe out • F Odair² •

III

"It never ends. For any of us."

•∘♔∘•

TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE (a pretty gruesome one at that, I'll put a trigger at the beginning and end)

In her dreams, Athena was with Finnick. They were lying in bed together, tangled together under the sheets. His hair was tousled from sleep and he rubbed his eyes tiredly, but he smiled lazily at her when he saw that she was awake, taking her face in his hands and running her thumb along her cheek. She laid her head on his chest and listened to his steady heartbeat while he traced words along her back and she said them out loud. She was not scared. She was not thinking of keeping up an act. She felt light. She felt free.

There was a sharp knock on the door, and they both startled at the sudden noise. Suddenly she did not feel so free, suddenly the weight of the world was back on her shoulders, and she felt foolish for thinking they could have anything other than stolen moments and glances. The knocking only got louder, more frequent, more persistent, until it seemed to be the only noise in the world.

"They're coming," Finnick murmured, looking frantic. "They're going to take us away from each other again."

Athena didn't have time to find out exactly who they were, because there was another knock so loud that it brought her back into consciousness, waking up with a jolt. She couldn't help but feel an aching sadness when she looked around and remembered that Finnick was still in the Capitol.

"Athena! Athena!" Calypso's voice was calling out to her from the other side of her bedroom door. "Wake up!"

"What's wrong?" Athena groaned, rubbing her eyes blearily.

"Roman's at the door," Calypso said. "He wants to talk to you."

Sighing, Athena got to her feet, stretching. She threw on a sweater, then left her room, where Calypso stood waiting for her.

"He's downstairs," said Calypso.

Athena nodded once, before making her downstairs to the front door, where Roman Zale was waiting for her. The moment he saw her, he held up a water knot and said, "Did I do this right?"

Athena blinked. "This is what you brought me down here for?"

He winced at the sound of her voice, but said, his voice considerably lower than usual, shrugging, "Good of a reason as any, right? I've been trying to get it right for hours, and you and Finnick always said you'd help me with my knot-tying."

Roman was at least decent immediately after trying almost anything, but mastering knot-tying had always eluded him. Since his victory in the Games, he had been dedicating himself to perfecting the skill. Athena simply looked at him for a moment, then narrowed her eyes slightly as she noticed that Roman looked distinctly disheveled, his curly brown hair messy and his clothes rumpled. There were dark circles under his almond-shaped, slightly bloodshot brown eyes, visible on his brown skin. He was relatively tall and muscular, but he looked like he wouldn't be to take on much of anything in that moment.

"Roman," she said slowly, "are you hungover?"

"I don't see how that's relevant," he said, scratching his broad nose and avoiding eye contact with her. She crossed her arms and gave him a look. He cracked and said, "Okay, I might have been drinking with my brother and Murphy and Noah last night. And since we're putting it out there, keep your voice down."

"You do that a lot lately," Athena commented, eyeing him carefully but lowering her voice for his sake.

He shrugged. "Fun way to pass the time. Even you know it's a fun group to drink with