chelsea

she wasn't a miracle, we were

                       

                    " I want you"

" No- you don't. God- fuck, How many times do you have to do this to me?" She looked at me this time, shivering because of the coldness of the rain. The sky continues to cry as it screams that it flashes light yet neither of us were afraid of that. Because of what this called- tension that both of us are killing. " And I know you want me-"

" I don't"

" You want me"

" I don't"

" You do! Stop lying to yourself, stop lying to me! Why is it so hard to just say it?" I burst out my emotions that even the skies grew darker as the wind blew harshly. " I don't- I just don't want you anymore, this isn't right. This will never be right. You and I are not right-"

" Stop fucking with me! Is it wrong to love the one you truly love? Is it right to force your love to someone you don't feel love for? Is it wrong..." " Shut up!" " No! I know the truth, you just don't want me because there is someone else but stop- I know you. You don't." " I don't want you-"

" Liar!" " Stop interrupting me!"

" Then stop lying" I panted as we both looked at each other and I turned to bite my bottom lip from stopping myself to cry. The way my heart quivers at her words feels like pure shit, I know she's lying but her lies hurt like the truth. " Fuck- I like you- no, I adore you so motherfucking much. This is wrong. You didn't accept me back then when I had your child and now that I'm married. You want me- what the hell is wrong with you?"

" You want the kid dead. I didn't say anything"

" When you said nothing, it was purely enough for me to leave. We did good, but the way you reacted when I said it was like I was a mistake- like the kid was the mistake. So-"

" So you did what you wanted, right? Killing the child?"

" Killing wasn't the big deal of this. You were, you weren't there to begin with. I was all alone in that relationship- you left your bride at the aisle and kept shouting my name. Fuck, you have no respect-" I look back at her as I remember the exact day when it all happened when she told me that she was pregnant but I couldn't say anything.

I was young. She was young. We were young.

She left and later than I know, she came back to tell me that she killed the baby. Our baby, life. What if I could just say something that day then maybe...it would've been different. " Go home" The moment she said that my tears dripped as my voice cracked.

" I'm sorry..so sorry...so sorry...sorry" I kept repeating as I couldn't look at her anymore because of the water covering my eyes. I closed my eyes shut as I felt a soft touch that made me sob harder. She pulls me close as she places her head near my neck, as drags her hand up and down at my back.

" fuck- I did love you. I still do but some things are meant to cripple to meet the bright side. Bye," She pull herself away as she turn and walked out of my life.