Tear in my Heart.

Stuck

This is an amazing song, by the way, and really fits this chapter.

"Hey Sun, how gave you been?" Cassy asked one night while we were on a discord call. "I'm good, how was work?" I could hear her giggle, "it was okay, but I'm tired." I nodded and laid back in my bed. "I wish you could lay with me." She giggled, "I wouldn't just lay with you, baby." I blushed at the thought. "Neither would I." I said, but I knew that's not what I wanted on a first date. Especially when she didn't even live in my state.

Our relationship was growing, and I was getting way too comfortable. "So you plan on moving out soon?" I sighed, "I'm trying, but I'm not financially ready for that yet." I said, and she sighed. "Whenever you're ready, baby, okay?" I nodded and bid her goodnight.

The next morning, I got up and ready for work. "What time do you work until Sun?" My mother asked as we headed out the door. "Until about 4." She nodded and drove me to work. Once I got in, I saw a text from Cassy.  I clocked in and waited for my shift to start. I read over her text and held back my tears. She was breaking up with me...all because she was too stressed. And I understood, but I wanted to help. "Please, Cassy, if you need anything, please let me know." She never messaged me back, and it hurt. But my shift soon started, so I put my phone away and began my shift. It was a slow day, so I checked my phone an hour later and saw Cassy had messaged me back.

She said we weren't threw and that she just needed a break. And I was fine with that. Soon, a month had passed, and I saw a new message from Cassy. "Hey, Sun. Sorry for being gone. If you want, we can get back together?" I was blushing and so happy to get back with her. I let her know I was okay with that. As the months continued, I learned Cassy was poly and I didn't care. Sure, a year ago I wouldn't be, but now I was. I was too scared to lose her. I would do anything to stay with her. We talked every day as much as possible but my parents didn't like her.

Sure, she was ten years older than me, but she made me happy, and I really cared about her. But that's all I wanted was her and nothing more. I never saw anything more. I never saw a future, well except maybe kids, but that's all. Sure, maybe I was in a baby fever, but I craved her. "So Sun, how are you and Cassy doing?" Carla asked who was one of my work friends. "Where okay. I'm looking to hopefully move in with her soon." Carla smiled and patted my arm. Everyone understood our relationship to an extent, but they didn't need to know everything.

Then, one afternoon, during a slow work shift, I saw a text from Cassy, this one longer than another she sent. 'Something is wrong.' I thought to myself as I read over the text. We were on another break, and I held onto hope. She was falling apart, but I was still gonna be by her side. I held it together through the rest of my shift, but once home, I broke down alone. 'I'm never gonna find love.' I thought as I texted Roxy and told them everything.

Months and months went by, four months, and with no hope. She kept telling me to keep waiting and holding on. And at the time, that's all I could do. And I was losing hope and starting to give up. "Sun, are you coming to the car show or what?" I heard my mom call as she snapped me out of my thoughts. "Yeah." I called back as I headed downstairs and got into our old car. It was nice to go out and spend time with mom and Chip. It was also nice to forget her, too.

Soon we arrived at the car show in our local town and parked. It was a cloudy day, but we weren't gonna waste it. We walked around a bit till a short woman came over. "Hey guys, how are you?" I recognized the woman as Moon's mom, Dawn. She was always so nice and she could brighten anyone's day. "Good." I said as she turned to me and smiled. "Sun, it's so good to see you, and my you are tall." I laughed, and we chatted a bit. "You know we have a tent since where a sponsor, you should come and say hi. I even got Moon to come." I was shocked, but I hide it. 'Moon was here. It's been so long since I've seen him or even talked to him. I wonder if he even remembers me or what we were.' I was excited and nervous to see him. But I knew if he wanted anything that I would have to think about Cassy.

We walked around and looked at a few cars before going and chatting with Dawn and Moon. Once over at their tent Moon got up and came over to where we were. He was much taller and older than when we were kids. But that is what time does. We all talked for a few hours, and then all went home. It was nice to see and talk to him, but Cassy was still on my mind a bit. "Sun." I hummed and looked over at my mom as she brought me out of my thoughts. "Dawn was wondering if Moon could have your number."