So Silent

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Stiles isn't sure how to start his first session with Barnes. After their show and tell on Saturday, he woke on Sunday to Derek answering the door because Rogers was dropping off the signed paperwork and letting them know Barnes would be ready to talk in the afternoon.


But just because Barnes said that he wants to talk doesn't mean he wants to have a full session, telling Stiles about his issues, the difficulties he's having, and other things he discusses with clients at their first sessions. So, he takes cues from how he went into his first therapy session post-nogitsune. He was angry at a lot of people, thought that the therapy wasn't going to help, and had a million other things he would rather do with his time.


He also doesn't want to sit in silence as he waits for someone to crack - and it would be him - and he ends up talking about random shit while Barnes stares at him. While the first therapist he went to post-nogitsune didn't help him, the fourth one was a godsend. It didn't feel like it at the time, especially when one of his sessions ended with the woman walking him to the door and telling him, I'm going to make you very uncomfortable next week.


But she was able to help him in a way that he hadn't experienced since the childhood trauma therapist he worked with after his mother died. She gave him a deck of cards or stress balls to keep his hands occupied. If he was having a really bad day, he would sit on the floor and use the coloring books she kept stacked next to her chair while they talked. He worked through his thoughts and she wouldn't stare or try to fill the silence. It created a safe space that he was comfortable talking in.


With that in mind, Stiles brought his laptop to do a paper on - or play solitaire, let's be honest - and a pad of paper for Barnes to do whatever he wants with. Even though he has colored pencils and a ton of coloring books in his room, he can't see Barnes even touching them, much less using them for their intended purpose.


He also shows up early to the conference room, and does end up working on his paper. Stiles doesn't realize how much time has passed, or that Barnes came into the room, until Stiles looks up to grab a reference book and spots the man sitting across from him. All of his limbs flail, so he ends up not only accidentally punching his laptop screen, but also kicking Barnes in the shin, which feels like kicking a steel beam.


"Fuck!" he shouts, curling over his laptop and his hurt hand while drawing his aching leg up. His imitation of a pillbug is hard to do at a conference table, but Stiles manages. "Jesus tap-dancing Christ. When the hell did you get here?"


"I thought you were supposed to be some magical badass?" Barnes asks dryly, glancing between his hand and his laptop.


Stiles pets his poor computer, even though it's been through so much worse. "Not when I'm in the zone, dude. Good grief. Knock or breathe heavy or something when you enter a room."


Barnes doesn't look impressed, nudging the notebook and pen on his side of the table. "What, do I have to draw you pictures?"


He snickers, because that's exactly what he asked his therapist the first time around in his therapy. He wonders if this is what Dr. Newling thought of him, except Barnes is much more daunting than he was after the nogitsune possession. Stiles was little more than a drowned rat at that point.

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