What I've Become

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Stiles doesn't know how Barnes will react during their next session. They've had a streak of pretty solid mini-sessions since Stiles' recounted his encounter with the Nogitsune. The bomb that Scott dropped about Stiles' relation to Barnes is a pretty big one. There's a reason he never disclosed it in the beginning, even after he and Steve got on the same page.


He doesn't change his routine, coming in at the same time with all his shit weighing him down and causing future-Stiles so much back pain. Stiles sighs when Barnes isn't inside, but the man didn't always beat him to the conference room. They had stayed late the night before, especially once Jane and Darcy showed up and demanded horrifying Baby Stiles stories which Scott was happy to provide. With pictures and video.


Maybe Barnes wants to sleep in. Maybe he now realizes how crazy Stiles is and doesn't want to come anymore. Maybe he--


"Are you going in?"


"Fuck!" Stiles shouts, dropping his bags and banging his hip into the chair in front of him. While he was standing just in the doorway, Barnes came in and was waiting for him to move. "Why?! Why do you want me to have a heart attack so badly? Jesus."


Stiles doesn't miss the small smirk on Barnes' face, but at least the asshole helps him pick up the papers that went flying out of the half-zipped backpack that got tossed when he flailed.


Once Stiles halfway settles in his seat, he glares at Barnes. "One day that question isn't going to be rhetorical. I'm gonna want an answer. Alas, today is not that day."


He hasn't even set up his computer yet before Barnes throws him into the fire.


"Why didn't you tell me?" His voice is gruff but his eyes are clear and piercing. "About your grandfather?"


Stiles sighs and shoves all his things aside, not even wanting his papers to be a physical barrier. There are a lot of answers to that question and since he went to bed the night before, he's been trying to figure out a way to present them in a way that will make sense.


He sits back in his chair and uses his foot to slowly rock himself back and forth. Self-soothing motion for the win. "I don't know if you know this, but your progress has been outstanding," he starts. Barnes looks dubious but Stiles continues, not letting him interrupt. "I know that it's weird to hear, but when we look at ourselves, we never think we've moved forward. Negative self-talk is a bitch. So take it from someone on the outside looking in - you are doing so well. Can we at least agree on that?"


This time, he waits for Barnes to nod his acknowledgement, even though he still doesn't seem convinced.


"Now I want you to think about the first time we sat down here. I'm not even talking about the first two months where we never said a single word together," Stiles clarifies. "I mean the first time we sat at this table, just you and me, and what we talked about. Do you remember?"


That stupid smirk is back, which itself is such a tell for Barnes' progress. "You mean when I scared you and you hurt yourself multiple times because you're afraid of a breeze?"

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