A PRETTY FACE DOESN'T MEAN A PRETTY HEART, regulus black

chapter four

chapter four

" i'm so fucking sorry "

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(contains strong language, mentions of depression, anxiety, suicide, domestic abuse, and mental illness in general)

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SOMETIMES OLLIE HAD THESE RANDOM FITS OF DEPRESSION, OR ANXIETY. It wasn't anything he could control. Normally, there was a vague reason. Such as, he'd simply just had a stressful week, or he had done something he regretted.

In this case, it was the latter.

Most of the time, when this happened, he couldn't even get out of bed. He completely disassociated from everyone. He could barely eat. Ollie didn't do anything. He just stared at the ceiling.

Of course, every time, Remus would manage to sneak a couple of things from the kitchens to bring to Ollie, trying to get him to eat.

Remus was the only one there for him during times like these, mainly because of a fight Ollie had gotten into with his sister, screaming at her about how he hated her seeing him like that, how he couldn't stand her having to take care of him like his mom used to have to do for his dad.

So she stopped.

Ollie tried to tell Remus the same, but he kept coming back.

Maybe it was selfish of him, not wanting his friends to take care of him. Of course, his feeling that all his friends hated him really just meant that he hated himself.

Remus eventually got him to feel better. He would stay in the Hufflepuff dorm room for hours, just trying to get Ollie to eat, maybe read, or listen to music. He'd do everything he could, because he hated seeing his best friend like this. Most of the time, Remus would just stay the night, sleeping slumped over in a chair or in the bed with Ollie.

He brought Ollie food, and all of his missing work that Tommy gave to him.

Anything to get him out of bed.

All the time Ollie spent staring at the ceiling, he spent thinking.

Mostly about his dad.

Scott del Campo-Rodriguez.

Ollie hardly knew him. All he has are these vague memories of his mood swings, how one day he was full of laughter and smiles and then the next he would beat Ollie and his mom. After that happened, He went into this horrible phase of depression, and once he finally got out of bed he would come begging for forgiveness.

The last thing Ollie remembered of him was from their house in Sweden.

His dad had gone out the other night and said he would be back in the morning, and the next day Ollie saw his dad's car pull into the driveway, but he didn't come inside, instead going out to the shed.

Ollie got curious, and decided to go out to the shed.

All he remembered from that is seeing the rope around his dad's neck and the sound of the chair clattering to the floor. He remembered his mom walking in and screaming, falling to her knees as tears welled up in her eyes.