A PRETTY FACE DOESN'T MEAN A PRETTY HEART, regulus black

chapter five

 chapter five

" he's still pretty when he cries "

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(Contains strong language, walburga and orion being horrible+regulus' internal conflict, sirius being kinda a nosy bitch ((we love him though)))

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         "PANDORA, ARE YOU UHM..DO YOU KNOW OLIVER SOLACE?" Regulus had asked his best friend one day when they were sitting in the Slytherin common room together. There were two other people in there, but most of the others were outside or had weekend classes.

Pandora Rosier, although she was a Ravenclaw, at this point she was just an honorary Slytherin. She looked up from her notebook. "Hm..Well, I have a few classes with him, and I know he and Evan are good friends, and he seems nice, but other than that, not really. Why? I thought you hated him, Reg."

Regulus sighed. "It's.. Nothing. Just something that happened a couple weeks ago."

"What, with Oliver? Did he do something?" Pandora asked.

"He- ...No. I..Fuck. I really shouldn't tell you." Regulus ran a hand through his hair, then immediately fixing it when he realizes he's messed it up. "Ugh. Why not. It- I mean like, I'm not saying you should tell other people- which I know you won't, but-"

"Bloody hell, get on with it Reg." Pandora said with a sigh.

"Okay! Damn...Uhm, so..Around the start of the year, I was..In an old classroom, because I was a bit upset. And uhm, Ollie- Oliver, came running in and he was crying. He started hitting the ground until he was bleeding and I was just fucking standing there while he was curled in a ball bawling his eyes out. I said..Something, which I guess kind of startled him because he didn't even know I was there- then I went over to him and..healed his hands. I..I felt bad for him. But..That got me thinking, what the hell can get Oliver Solace upset? I've just..I've never seen him in that light before, and now..I don't know." Regulus groaned, laying back on the couch.

"Wait, wait, what did you say? Give me the full story."

"Well- Okay, it was less of actually- I- I was more thinking out loud, than actually like...I told him that he was still somehow pretty when he cried. Like I said. Thinking out loud."

"I- Reg. Regulus. I don't know if I should tell you 'that's not just something you say to someone who's having a mental breakdown' or if I should simply just be yelling because you called him pretty and I think that's a bit-" Regulus cut her off with a kick in the shin.

"Shut. Up. I was thinking out loud. I hate you."

"Yeah, yeah. You love me." Pandora said, kicking him right back. "-But in all seriousness- yeah. I've never seen him angry, or sad. Like, he always seems to be in a such a perfect mood. But I never really thought he never got pissed, or had the occasional bad day. Everyone does. I always just thought he was good at bottling stuff up."

"...I...Did hate him. Before the incident. But now I realize that it was for no reason. I just..made up these things about him in my head so I could hate him- because I guess I...envy him. Or something like that. He's always had such a perfect life in my eyes, and when mine started going to shit I started hating him for that." Regulus sighed. "And you know what I would fucking kill for? What he and his sister have. I-...Merlin, you have no fucking clue how much I miss Sirius. Now when things get bad at home..There's no one for me to run to. I always tell myself to suck it up, but fuck, sometimes I just need to be a little kid again when shit happens at home. Now with Sirius gone, I just get pissed. I..Fuck, I love him so much, Dora. He's- I don't know how I've been doing this without him. I want him back. I regret everything I said that night. I regret it so much."