It Was Always You / Style Southpark

Because There's Always a Party - Kenny

TW: abuse (flashback) 
AN: long ass chapter ahead, you get to read Kenny's trauma so enjoyyyy!

I settle into my seat next to Butters on the bus. "You excited for the party tonight?" Butters asks me. I nod "Yeah it'll be fun." Butters smiles and I'm glad I have my hood one because he's so fucking cute. I feel a blush creeping up my neck. I'm so glad my hood is on. "I'm mostly excited to see you though Butterscotch," I continue with a sly grin. "I'm excited to see you too Kenn!" He replies. So that attempt at flirting totally flew over his head. What did I expect? he's so oblivious.

I'm surprised he's actually going to the party. Usually, parties aren't his scene. Good for him I guess. When the bus pulls up to Stan's house I say bye to Butters and trudge inside. Mrs.Marsh greets us warmly as we head upstairs to Stan's room. I sit on the floor my back push up against the bed frame mean while Kyle and Stan sit across from me side by side.

Truth be told I'm only here because I didn't wanna deal with my dad. He was in a particularly bad mood today, I'm sure he's drunk right now. It's not out of the usual. In fact, I'm used to it, that's why I know today he's gonna be particularly shitty. I hate him. With every bone in my body. I'm sure Karen knows too. She probably went to Starks Pond she likes to hang around there.

(Flashback, 2 months ago)

I cover my face as my dad throws a beer bottle in my direction. Screaming. The bottle smashes into the wall next to my head. Screaming. I can feel myself shaking. The broken glass shines on the ground next to me. Screaming. I'm shaking and trying to breathe. I can hear the screaming but I have no idea what he's saying. Breathe Kenny. Fucking breathe Kenny. Breathe. He kicks one of the chairs over. It tumbles over loudly and hits the wall.

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU FAGGOT," He screams at me. I start to stand, my legs shaking. Another bottle flies in my direction it smashes above my head loudly. The tiny bits of glass fall into my hair. Screaming. Shit. Breathe, breathe, breathe fucking breathe.

I wobble to the door. I grasp the handle. Screaming. I burst out the door. Sprinting while tears start to roll down my face. The houses I run past are a blur. I stop when I get about halfway down my street. Breathe Kenny. Fucking breath. I gently brush the glass out of my hair. As carefully as I can. It falls to the ground around me. The screaming rings in my head. I walk to the side of the road and sit. Yeah...shit...I'm gonna get high. I reach into my pocket for my stuff.

(present time, end flashback)

Everyone has their escapes. Doesn't matter if it's a physical place or a person or a thing everyone has something they use to cope. your full of shit if you try and say otherwise. A stairwell, a lover, music, the park, sleep something like that. My personal favorite is weed but to each their own.

"Kenny?" Stan asks waving a hand in front of my face. "Sorry, what?" I mumble zoning back in. I'm famously good at zoning out. "Nothing particularly we just noticed you were zoning out," Kyle replies. I pull my hood down. At school I try and make it look like have my shit together but Stan and Kyle know I don't and they don't care. I fix my hair a little, I figure I'll actually try to fix it before the party but not right now.

"I'm gonna use the bathroom," Stan grunts well standing up. Me and Kyle sit there not saying anything. "Do you like... have a thing for Butters?" He questions me. Shit, I knew I was being too obvious. I mean not that it matters to Butters he's too oblivious. I didn't exactly want anyone else to know though. Embarrassed and blushing red I mumble "Yeah." He laughs "Kenny Mcwhoremick is in love? Kenny Mcwhoremick who is famous for sleeping with like a million girls is in love with the most innocent boy in our grade!" He chokes out through his laughing.