Forever Yours

Chapter 6

Song: Home - EdithWhiskers

Day 13

"Ugh, why is he here?" I complain to my coworker, Andrea.
"Who are you talking about and what did he do?" she asks, desperate to feed into any sort of gossip.
"Him," I point to Oliver across the room.
"Ooh tall, dark, and handsome over there who's been looking at you since he walked in twenty minutes ago?"
"One, don't call him that. Two, yes he's so annoying though." I roll my eyes at her antics, not surprised in the slightest.
"One, he most definitely is tall, dark, and handsome. Two, why don't we like him."
"He tried to hit on me yesterday," I should sound more upset considering I do not want him in this particular coffee shop at all.
"Girl, please be so for real right now. This hot with a capital H man walked up to you yesterday, tried to hit on you, and you rejected him?" she asks with disbelief evident in her voice.
"You act like he's some mysterious, mythical creature. He's actually such a dork," I try to explain but that seems to make her more excited.
"That's even better. If you don't take him up on whatever he offered you or at least flirt back, I will," she walks away no doubt feeling accomplished.
I know she would take him too, not that I even care but I won't subject him to that kind of fate so I walk up to his table. His smile gets bigger the closer I get and when I get a couple steps away he decides to open his big mouth so the entire coffee shop can hear him.
"Hello, sunshine. Fancy seeing you here," that sentence seems way louder than any other sentence ever spoken.
"Don't call me sunshine and you're the one stalking me. You know I work here," I whisper shout at him.
"Playing hard to get, I see," he clearly didn't get them memo.
"I am not playing hard to get, I'm playing you aren't getting me at all."
"I'm not trying to get YOU anymore, just your number," and he's smiling again, why does that smile make me feel things? No, I feel nothing for him or his stupid smile.
"Well either way you're not getting it," I try reasoning.
"Sure for right now I'll pretend to go along with it," he's smirking again, why does he smirk so much?
"Mmkay well I have to get back to work, just wanted to let you know that stalking is illegal," just as I turn to get back to work he continues to talk for whatever reason.
"Do you get commission?" he asks sincerely so I turn around to humor him.
"Yeah, why?"
"Just wondering. Bye Sunshine just wanted to see you today," he stands up and walks out the door.
"Why is he so weird?" I ask Andrea when I get back to the cash register.
"I don't think he was weird," she responds with a shrug.
"He's been in here two days in a row now without ordering anything," I explain.
"He's been in here two days in a row to see you."
"That's what my best friend Valerie said," I roll my eyes.
"Well, she was right."
It doesn't matter if he's here to see me because he's probably been everywhere around this town doing the same thing. He just likes the chase; he couldn't care less about the reward. I'm not dating anyone right now anyways. I'm not dating anyone for a long time or maybe ever for that matter.
Nothing lasts forever, the only way it could end is with at least one person getting hurt. Why would I subject anyone to that pain? Why would I subject myself to the inevitable pain? I have a feeling that he would absolutely break me. I can't be broken right now, I have to take care of the kids. I can't do that completely shattered. I barely bounced back enough to hide my pain from my parents death. 
Maybe I'm thinking about it. Maybe we won't even fall in love. Maybe, I'll end up getting bored and walking away myself. I highly doubt that though. He's definitely not the kind of guy you just get bored of to be honest. He's the kind of guy that would dance with you in the pouring rain on the side of the road. It's what makes him dangerous. Maybe Andrea was on to something, the fact that he's a complete dork makes him that much more attractive. The fact that he's been to the coffee shop two days in a row makes him easy to fall in love with even if I'm not the only girl he's been to see today.
He has this way of looking at you like you're the only girl in the entire world. Like no one in the room matters as long as you're in his sight of vision. It's horrible, knowing I refuse to fall in love. When I was younger all I wanted was a guy to look at me like that. I dreamed of it like every other girl. Did that make me basic? Probably, but I didn't care. I would watch rom-coms with my mom while she would sit there and tell me Every. Single. Time. to never settle for less.
She told me eventually a guy would come into my life and I would know he was the one when he looked at me like I was his light and he's been in the dark his entire life. She told me to wait for the guy who would get me my favorite flowers or candy just because. The guy I have to argue with to just get me flowers on Valentine's Day isn't the "one". He's never going to be the one.
He's not going to change. I can sit there and wish and wish and wish but if he can't even put the effort in to make me happy he doesn't care enough to change his ways. I wish I would've listened. She would say that she doesn't necessarily think the quote, "if he wanted to he would," is completely correct. She said it should be changed to, "If you want him to, he should."
Some guys are just plain clueless but if you express that you love "just because" flowers then he should make an effort to get you some just to see you smile. Or if one of your friends brings up that a promposal would mean a lot to you he should make you a freaking poster. "The point is, he has to at least make an effort. A relationship can't be one-sided. To be honest, the guy should almost try a bit harder. But please promise me you won't settle even if you're forty-two and still don't have a boyfriend," and she wouldn't unpause the movie until I promised her.
I guess it worked for her. I mean, my dad loved her more than I've ever seen someone love another person but where did it get them? With three kids who have to learn how to live without them and two guardians who aren't equipped to raise a puppy let alone children. All because they put their trust in the two people who deserve it the least.
Now I don't watch those rom-coms anymore and I'm never going to have that fairytale, sweep you off your feet kind of love. I mean truly none of it matters. We're all just trying to get through a life of pain and heartbreak to inevitably die. Here's the kicker though, you never know when you're going to die. It's all one big ultimate surprise at the end of day after day of the same things.
So, I could spend my life trying to find the one person I want to be with until one of us dies but neither of us matter to anyone else. If you're lucky you get a few people that come into your life that genuinely care about you but it's hard to even tell who's real or fake. None of us are going to matter one hundred years from now so what's the point of trying to make an impression on this world.
Hypothetically speaking even if you were to make an impression like Shakespeare or Abraham Lincoln none of those people truly know you but they still sit there and teach the next generation things they weren't even alive for. They only know what they've been told. In the end None. Of. It. Matters.
                        

Sorry this chapter was shorter. Some people prefer shorter chapters though so if that's you, you're welcome. I'm just here to make everybody happy. Pathological people pleaser who only wanted you to see her...
Honestly that was so real of Taylor. We love her here. Any Taylor Swift haters will be asked to kindly leave.
Amelia low key in denial about wanting to fall in love is also so real.
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Word Count: 1,423