Forever Yours

Chapter 13

Song: A Sky Full Of Stars- Coldplay

Day 49

"Hey it's Valerie, leave a message after the beep," the sound has been getting more obnoxious these past two days. I've been trying to reach my best friend for two days straight to no avail. I haven't gotten more than an I'm busy right now text from her. I just want to have a conversation, it's not like I'm asking for a kidney.
"Hey Val, please call me back as soon as you can. I just want to talk to you since it's been a minute. Love you." How much longer can you keep doing this? Normally it would be easier to defend her actions since she's been through so much with me but I've never needed her more and she can't even answer my calls.
I feel my phone buzz, hoping it's Valerie, I look down. It's not, Oliver's calling. "Heyyy sunshine, how are you?" He somehow always manages to make me smile.
"I'm okay, how are you?"
"Better now that I'm talking to you," somehow that sentence has me smiling, blushing, and rolling my eyes.
"That was real original Oliver," I also kind of loved it. You also kind of love him.
"No need to roll your eyes, Ams. I had a horrible day and I needed to hear your voice. I was being honest," He sounds exasperated. Apparently he doesn't think he should have to explain that to me.
"Well why'd you have a horrible day?"
"Well first, I go into my favorite coffee shop and my favorite person wasn't there. Then, I get some hot chocolate, you know cause I don't drink coffee."
"Of course," I'm genuinely happy when I talk to him and that's a horrifying thought. I never felt this way around any of my other friends but everything's different with him. It's all more.
"Then, I go to school, with the hot chocolate in hand obviously. And, I bump into this guy. I thought he was going to beat me up Amelia, he was like seven feet tall and probably had 250 pounds of pure muscle. Now I can take a lot of people in a fight, you know, but he was huge. So I started apologizing and offered to buy him some hot chocolate for some reason.
"He just started grumbling about how I was an idiot and walked away, but I could've died." Deep down I know he didn't actually think this was one of the worst days of his life but if nothing else, he knows how to make me laugh.
"Omg, it's your meet-cute," I answer, grinning.
"You think? I mean I don't really swing that way, but if I did..." he trails off while I hunch over with laughter. And trust me it's not a pretty laugh, it's more wheeze than anything. But it feels so good I can't even find it in me to care.
"Did me, Oliver McKinney make you, Amelia Callahan laugh," he sounds so happy, I don't get it. How can he be so happy all the time when I can barely get out of bed every day? I've seen him on some of his worst days as a kid and he still managed to make me laugh. He uses humor to cope and sometimes I just wish he would talk to me instead. Baby steps, this is as new to him as it is for you. He'll come around.
I'm still laughing when he says, "Now how are you really, baby?" We both freeze. For a second I thought he hung up because it was so quiet on his end. Do I keep going like nothing happened? Does that warrant a conversation? He obviously didn't mean to. Why did I like it? I never liked when my previous boyfriends called me any kind of pet names. Why is everything with him so different than everyone else?
I decide to just go with it and answer his question, "I'm fine, Oliver," but it's barely more than a whisper.
"Don't lie to me, sunshine. You maybe could've fooled me with "I'm okay" but really? "I'm fine" now please just talk to me." I know that he cares and wants to know what's going on in my life but it's so hard to talk about how I'm doing. Nobody but him has asked.
"Okay, fine. Valerie won't answer any of my calls and I just want to have a conversation with her. We haven't seen each other since the funeral and I know that she's busy but she's not even making an effort anymore. It's getting harder and harder to make excuses for her when my parents died less than two months ago. She really was my best friend for the longest time and she seriously saved me from myself when we stopped talking. But, I don't know how much longer I can do this.
"She has to. Understand that I'm drowning here and she's just pulling me further down while I'm doing everything I can to keep our friendship afloat," I release a breath at the same time I realize just how much I told him. 
"I know you feel like you owe her something because she saved you once but the tank of support you give your friends isn't something that runs out. She should be here supporting you through everything and I know you don't believe me but it's the truth. I know that she was your best friend and you guys were extremely close, but sometimes people drift apart and that's okay. If it's meant to be it'll come back."
"She was so good to me at first. She was supposed to be my forever best friend and it's getting to the point where I feel like I'm not enough for a lot of people."
"I know, I understand but you'll find a new forever best friend and she won't drain your battery. This is a time in your life where you need people who are going to life you up, not drag you down. Amelia, you are seriously one of the most amazing girls I've ever met. I can't imagine wanting to spend the rest of my life with anyone else, platonically or not. And trust me, I've tried. Every girl I've come into contact with, I couldn't help but compare to you.
"I've never had a serious girlfriend because it's not fair to them. You are so much more than enough for the right people. Anyone who's made you feel otherwise wasn't enough for you. You were too much for them. And that is okay. You were too much sarcasm and impulsivity but they also saw too much heart and perseverance. They took advantage of your kindness and forgiving nature and I can't wait to spend the rest of our lives to prove to you that you are more than enough."
By the end of his speech I'm basically sobbing. I don't know how but he somehow always manages to know exactly what I need to hear. He doesn't always tell me what I want to hear but that's one of my favorite traits of his. He's honest, and I love him for it.
Apparently he's not done though, "I support you in whatever you choose to do but I don't like how she's making you feel and I just needed you to hear the truth."
"Thank you, that really means a lot." And it did. His speech, those words, because they came from him. It all meant so much to me. Oliver isn't walking away from me, he never has walked away. He's loved me through the best and the worst and he did come back to me. I think I'm starting to realize that the hurt might be worth it.
My parents death didn't kill me, if/whenValerie walks away I'll be okay, if Oliver walked away I'd find a way to deal with it like I've dealt with everything else in my life. Just because I let myself get close with someone doesn't mean I have to let myself be dependent on them. I'm okay on my own and I'll continue to be okay on my own. But, that doesn't mean I should have to deny myself something that makes me happy. And Oliver makes me happy.
"I love you"
"I love you"

***
Hey guys! Oh my gosh my reads more than doubled over night! Thank you so much to my girls on the BTL app, it's because of you all that I got to 30 reads and I'm so grateful to all of you.

Especially Kaz and her friend, this chapter is dedicated to you guys because your response to my book honestly made me so happy and I probably wouldn't have wrote this chapter if you didn't ask to hear more.

I seriously appreciate all the support and I'm so grateful people are actually reading my book. ❤️❤️❤️