The Monster In Me

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Nalea

I can't move, not my arms or my legs. The strong scent of blood surrounded me and I was too afraid to ask why. All I know is, that he's dead. Again.

Right in front of me. He was right in front of me and I froze. My heart feels like it's barely beating and the heavy rain pouring down and beating against my bare skin isn't helping either.

Blood. I taste blood in my mouth and everything around me is spinning. The only feeling I have is the wet mud under my fingertips. A how pierces the air, my head feels as if it's seconds away from splitting open.

I look up, seeing a pair of glowing grey eyes right in front of me. Only inches away and fangs. I strain my tired limbs, compelled to reach out, but no matter how hard I try, it feels as if it is only inches away from my grasp but inches I can't reach.

I opened my mouth, ready to ask for help, but nothing came out. It's like my voice disappeared along with my free will. The wolf sprints away, looking back at me and I feel a sense of familiarity, but I don't know from where. I lost sight of it, the heavy downpour and pitch-black skies didn't help.

What I do catch is a sole human leg lying right above my head. My vision starts blurring and the world around me begins to fade but I can't fight it. I can't stay awake.

. . .

'You need to wake up!' a voice shouted.

Willow? Is that you?

'Yes, you need to wake up Nalea, you'll die if you don't.'

What's the point, if I live, more people will die anyway.

'That's not true and you know it,' she argued.

What I know is I don't fucking care anymore.

'What about Lance? What about Odin, I know you secretly still wish to see him again. Grayson and Zaiden would be heartbroken too and so would Emily and Cydney.'

Fuck off! If you care about them so much, why don't you do it? Lance is nothing but a fricking stranger and Odin's gone.

It bothered me. Her reasoning bothered me. They were all people that I cared about but the idea of pushing forward only for their sakes bothered me. The idea makes me sick. Living without will for the sake of other's happiness makes me sick. But the thought of never seeing the people I cared for again felt even worse. A reality without them?

But maybe a reality without me would be what's best for them. I'd lose them, but maybe... I'd get to be with my parents again.

I don't want this miserable existence.

'This about being alone isn't it?' the beast sighed. 'You're never alone Nalea. That's your fear speaking. Have you felt that way since coming back home?'

I did at first. When I first came back, I felt isolated. Like I couldn't share anything about the last year and a half with anyone. But now?

No...

'I won't leave you Nalea.'

Says the wolf who's been ignoring me for weeks now.

Before I have time to reply, a thunder roars and I jolt forward, tasting a bitter, metallic liquid in my mouth. I looked around, noticing my surroundings and it was much clearer than the first time I'd woken up.

Everything felt different. It felt like I'd been seeing the world in a foggy image before, but now it was all clear. The feeling of complete disappearance had almost vanished too and it felt like I was being wrapped in a tight embrace filled with love and warmth. It's the wolf.