Dear Life

Dear Depression

Dear Depression,

You and I are great friends, sadly. You and I are two peas in a pod, I am you and you are me. But something about that isn't right. It shouldn't be like this. It shouldn't be you running to me whenever things get a little hard. It shouldn't be me running to you for comfort when life gets too peaceful.

You and I used to be good friends but now . . . I don't know how to describe it. I can't live without you stalking my day, I can't live without you breathing down my neck. I can't breathe without you being there trying to make me stop breathing. I can't live.

I can't live without you burning your anxieties into my brain, trying to convince me that everyone wants me dead and everyone doesn't want to see me succeed. I can't live without you trying to be the shadow man, stalking my move, and not in a good fictional character kind of way.

You're like an old soul trying to stay young. You hang onto everything that you can but in the end, it's just you. And I want it to be just you but really. It's you and me. We're an old married couple that should have gotten divorced a long time ago. You and I never agree on anything besides one thing, I don't deserve this life. That is the one thing that we agree on and I don't think a marriage should be based on that. I don't think a friendship should be based on someone else's demise.

That's not healthy. We're not healthy yet I keep running to you and you keep running to me. You're my dirty little secret that I try to keep underneath the rug but you always find a way to come back into the light.

You think you help people but you don't. All you do is end people up in hospitals or six feet into the ground. You can't be trusted yet I trusted you.

I think you were my first love in a way. Something that I can never get over because you are such a big part of me. 

So Depression, I want a divorce.