New Inception

𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒕𝒆𝒆𝒏 (𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝟏)

Three hours before we boarded the jet to go to this evening which was quite empty of usefulness and meaning. I have time to prepare without having to rush and forget important things.

I have time to think about Cas' plan and how he wants to eradicate my family tree. I have the vague impression that he knows more than I would have thought, it's quite surprising. I don't know how he is certain that my father will show up in Italy one day.

That's what I think about for quite a long time, just long enough to take a shower. But when I come to sit on my bed, the towel around my chest, I think about this call which took place exactly where I am.

"One of our moles is with you in this house but don't trust anyone..."

I immediately think about this person, I don't know who she is but she definitely talked to Cas. This means that I can't trust her, but the real question is who the fuck is this person? I can't trust the mole that is supposed to be on my side, it's a mole in a mole.

My brain gets hot and I end up convincing myself that I shouldn't trust anyone in any case. The only plausible person I could trust is Sofia, then disappointment rises in my heart when I think of Alice. I can't trust her so easily and in such a short time even if she was able to prove to me in some way that she is a trustworthy person. There's no way I'm going to be wrong about that, I can't risk anything.

I get up from my bed like ten minutes later and watch myself in the mirror of the door's closet. How is this story going to end up? What if I lose everything? No, I don't want to think about it.

I shake my head to think about this evening, I must consider this evening as rest but I must stay listening and observe around me to know more things.

Opening my closet, I sigh seeing all the choices I have in front of me. I widen my eyes because I don't feel inspired at all. I walk in circles for a few minutes before a brilliant idea pops into my head. I smile at my idea and pull out my best dresses and heels. ultimately this time of rest will be a time of fun.

After a while of reflection, I chose the revenge dress. Matteo will be there for sure, so I'm going to play hard and destroy him like he destroyed part of my life.

I grab the hanger where there is a long black backless dress with long sleeves and a chain in the back. I smile when I imagine everyone I could make kneel in front of me, all this power just by the power of the feminine essence.

I put this pure beauty on and turn to see my back in the mirror, the dress creates perfect harmony with my tattoo along my spine. But the scars spoil this harmony which was perfect, my back damaged like my soul; my bruised skin representing my soul darkened by the misadventures that life has offered me. But I choose to not hide my past, because I'm not afraid of showing it.

After the rest of my preparation, I finally think about the pair of heels that I will choose. Specifically one that was already planned in my head. The famous Yves Saint Laurent heels, patent black and gold heel; a wonder that only true women can wear. To finish I put on perfume and take a small handbag that is easy to carry.

Once I've made sure I have everything I need, I check myself in the mirror before leaving. Who could as well hide such a desperate image in a body which would allow us to imagine a potentially charitable soul, while I am fallen and already destined to go and be tortured for eternity in the world of the dead and fire.

The difference between my inside and my outside is a total paradox. Yin and Yang, evil and good, dark and light, black and white, life and death, fair weather and storm; that is my definition. This is the difference between my appearance and my soul.