nightlife ● enhypen

sober actions

》》Jay《《

My head hurts so bad.

That's the only thought that I could process in my mind. I cracked my eyes slightly taking time to adjust to the sunlight streaming through my window. I came face-to-face with Isis' sleeping face. She looked extremely peaceful and pretty. My breathing betrayed me, halting entirely. Thoughts of last night flooded my memory. Damn.

I quietly untangled my legs from hers and slipped out of the bed. Throwing on a shirt, I left the room running into Sunghoon in the hallway.

"Hey." He said groggily. I pulled up the door tightly behind me so that he couldn't see Isis sleep in my bed.

"Hey."

"Had fun last night, huh?" He said. My eyes widened. How did he know about that?

"What do you mean?" I asked cautiously.

"I saw the bottles on the bar. Downing 4 bottles has to be some sick record for you." He said jokingly.

"Oh," I said relieved. "Yeah, my head is killing me really bad right now." I cringed, relieved that he didn't know about what happened with Isis and I. Hell, I could barely place what entirely happened. Sure I remember us kissing, but after she took my shirt off the details got a little fuzzy. I hope we didn't go further than that... 

Sunghoon retreated back to his room as I headed to the kitchen. Sure enough 4 bottle of whiskey sat on the counter. Rummaging through the cabinets, I decided on making ramen, which always makes me feel better when I'm hungover. I made enough for both Isis and I, plus I brewed some hangover tea. I heard a door open and close then Sunoo emerged into the archway of the hall.

"Have you seen Isis?" He asked concerned. "She was sleep in my room last night but she wasn't there when I woke up. The bathroom's empty too."

"Yeah," I thought of something quickly. "She woke up late last night and ate before blacking out on the couch. I found her this morning and put her in my bed." I really hated lying to Sunoo, or any of the guys for that matter, but I know how much Sunoo likes Isis and it would absolutely break him to know that I did what I did. What we did.

He nodded slowly, retreating back to his room. I let out a burdened sigh, carrying the food back to my room. Although shifted around on the bed, Isis was still asleep. Setting the food on the bedside table, I pulled up my rolling chair to the bed, sitting there to avoid waking her.

I examined the peaceful look on her face. Her long eyelashes. Her cute little nose. Her lips. God, her lips. I quickly averted my gaze, feeling my heartbeat increase at the thoughts of last night. I've always thought Isis was attractive ever since I met her on the rooftop. She was hot with a spunky attitude, definitely my type. I liked her a little but I hated the things she did to me; how she made me feel. I argued with the guys more frequently and spazzed out on missions all because she was the only thing occupying my mind. After Jisung's death, I finally found something that could remove my feelings for her.

She is weak.

The only thing I hate more than a gold digger and a stupid chick, is a weak bitch. Always crying and scared. Given Isis' line of work, you'd think she'd be a little more equipped to deal with death. But no, she cried, she screamed, she argued, she wallowed in self-pity...Weak bitch.

And it was starting to work, or at least I thought it was, until the incident at the club. Seeing her face contorted with discomfort and fear, instilled a sense of urgency within me. The anger and wrath that filled me when Isis got grazed by that bullet made me realize something.

Yes, she is weak, and she need to be protected. By me.

I'd be an idiot to say that I don't know the way the other guys feel about Isis, but they could never protect her like I could.

Isis stirring on the bed shook me out of my thoughts. I quickly scooted back up to my desk, to avoid looking like a creep watching her while she slept. Glancing slightly, I noticed that her once peaceful demeanor was distressed as her lips tugged downward and her eyebrows furrowed.

Should I wake her?

Isis continued to jerk her head back and forth, her breaths quickening. Her lips began to tremble ultimately tugging on my heartstrings. I got up and moved to wake her.

"Isis." I said lowly. She showed no reaction and began mumbling something under her breath.

"Isis." I called a little louder.

"Stop." She said audibly this time. I rolled my eyes thinking she was awake.

"Get up, I have some food for y—"

"Please." She said weakly, desperately, in an almost begging tone. "No, no please don't." She said louder. I shook her trying to wake her up.

"Isis, get up."

"No, please, Jae." I froze, gingerly pulling my hands away.

Is she dreaming about me?

"Is—" She suddenly gasped before I could call for her again. Her hands shook as she brought them to her face. The only thing audible was her shallow breaths. I placed a hand on her shoulder not knowing what else to do. She jumped at the contact, scooting until her back hit the wall. She looked up at me removing her hands from her face. She looked at me as if she was only just now noticing I was there. Her unfocused eyes overflowing with tears.

I silently gasped at her tear-stained face. The fear in her eyes matching with the look in her eyes from yesterday. I reached to her but she coiled back.

"Sunoo." She said quietly.

"Huh?"

"Can you get Sunoo?" She said a little louder, her tears never once ceasing. "Please." He voice broke. I just nodded slowly backing out of the room. I knocked on Sunoo's door but he didn't answer quick enough for me, so I just opened the door.

"Sunoo, Isis needs you." He immediately stood up from his bed and rushed past me. I watched as he opened the door to my room and closed it just after letting out a calling "Angel".

This moment of realization hit me rather hard. That's what Isis needs. Someone who's willing to drop everything and run to her. Someone to be there for her and not judge her for being weak. 

The person she needs is not me.

The coolness of the floorboards humbled me just as much as the now chilled ramen that still sits on my bedside table.