My lucky Charm

16 | My lucky charm

~~~~~~~~Rajan~~~~~~~

It's been 2 days since Ramya came to India. All the earlier thoughts I had about my inferiority vanished after seeing her.

She had a jet lag and I allowed her to take some rest. The 2 days went just like that with her sleeping, giving away pleasantries to our family members who visited and so on.

When I was about to enter our room, I happened to hear Ramya talking with her brother over the phone.

She gave a small smile and continued with her talks. I changed myself in to casual wear. Ramya's one particular sentence caught my attention and made me halt.

" if not for the dowry Rajan would not have even married me" she stated.

" he would have definitely rejected me if I had said no for giving my jewels" she spoke again.

Hearing it, I felt like some one stab me with a deep knife. I stood with a face not knowing what to say or do.

"Is it not Rajan?? You would have rejected me la???" Ramya asked me teasingly.

I did not answer her. Nor I was able to stand there any more. I rushed to the terrace.

This sentence broke my heart. Till now, when some one mocked me for marrying Ramya with the same sentence, I did not take that seriously.

To me what Ramya thinks about me mattered. But hearing the same words from her mouth,  I felt shattered.

Now I remember.  Earlier, when we were conversing Ramya blurted out, that she  thought to have a contract marriage or live in relationship to get out of her house.

May be that is what she was about to say to me when I came to her house?  She agreed to give her jewels because of that.

I did not listen to her fully and left that day. She is not considering our marriage seriously like me.

So that's the reason she has not accepted my love. That is the reason she did not wear the chain I gave.

Realizing all this my heart clenched in pain. She indeed thinks me incapable for running a family.

I am a big fool. I have done a big mistake in falling in love with her without knowing her thoughts.

I should not have asked that question of giving me her jewels. I should not have taken the jewels from her when she offered.

I have sold my dignity with my act. I failed to be a good husband.

Even Satheesh fought with his parents for asking dowry. He is the real gentleman. Not me asking jewels from wife to settle my sisters marriage.

It clearly shows how incapable I am.

I was heartbroken to the core that I might burst into tears anytime.

After sometime Ramya came to the terrace and sat beside me.

We both were sitting together on the bench looking at the sky. In few minutes it will be new year for the whole world.

While here, I am thinking of wasting Ramyas life in the name of marriage.

I am not the right one for her. Even if she accepts me, the past of me getting  her jewels cannot be changed.

I  have no other option. Its difficult but I have to be away from her. I cannot  bear it, if Ramya herself says she wants to leave me.

" Ramya.." I started.. my voice was hoarse. Tears can escape at anytime.

"Hmm"

" let's... let's get divorced... lets be separated.." I finally told mustering courage in swallowing my tears.