First Dance

Chills

'The chill of winter's embrace she feels slowly seeping through her bones . . . '

The falling snow turns into freezing rain by the time you reach the hospital. Your doctors are waiting for you, and they immediately take you for an emergency C-section to deliver the baby. Namjoon is allowed by your side and never lets go of your hand.

They are prepping you for the C-section when you have another contraction. You feel your heart beating like it's somersaulting. In gasping breath, you manage to say through a shiver, "Jooni, chill . . .s . . . so, so cold . . . " all you can do now is gasp for breath and feel cold as darkness closes in on you.

"Hana, Hana!" calls Namjoon, he's scared watching your lips turning blue. 

 He shouts to the staff in the operating room, "She can't breathe! Help her! She can't breathe!"

One of the nurses comes and pulls Namjoon away. He fights her, trying to get back to you. Suddenly, he is stunned in place when he hears the doctor yell, "Clear!" and he hears the sound of the heart defibrillator shock you. In his state of shock, the nurse pulls him from the surgical suite.

"NoooOOooo Hanaaa NOOOoooo!!"

 His heart-rending cries can be heard all over the unit and in the waiting room.

The others come running as the nurse has security helping her move Namjoon to a nearby waiting room for privacy.

They surround him as the nurse and security leave the room. Neither of them is untouched by the grief Mr. Kim is suffering.

His brothers of the heart huddled with him, all crying for their leader, for you, and for the little life you carried. After a while, they got Namjoon to lie on the waiting room couch. He was exhausted.

Through his strained voice from sobbing, he heartbrokenly tells them, "I've made it through a lot of hard times . . ."

Jimin wipes Namjoon's face of tears, and he squeezes Jimin's hands in his, "But losing her . . . I won't be able to come back from," sobs Namjoon.

They look around at each other, sensing that Namjoon has already given up the will to live, and their hearts tear completely in two.

Yoongi crouches in front of him, placing a hand on each shoulder, and sternly tells him, "Don't you ever, ever give up! Do you hear me, Joon?"

Unnoticed by the others, a nurse opened the door just enough to get Jin's attention and motioned for him to come with her. A few minutes later, they all turn when they hear the door open, and Jin clears his throat.

Jin comes walking in with a nurse behind him and stops before them, tears running down his face. He looks at the wrapped bundle in his arms and then at Namjoon. Namjoon sits up, and the others move aside as Jin walks towards him.

Jin holds the little bundle towards Namjoon, and with a teary smile, Jin places the little bundle in Namjoon's arms.

"It's a girl. You have a daughter, Jooni," says Jin before he steps back to be with the others.

Namjoon buries his face next to hers, sobbing with joy of having her, mixed with tears of deep sorrow.

Namjoon looks up with such grief that Yoongi's chin quivers as he fights back his tears. 

Namjoon, in such distress, cries to Yoongi, "I can't live without Hana."

Yoongi firmly holds his face, looks him directly in the eyes, and, in no uncertain terms, tells him, "But you have to. You have a reason you have to!" 

Yoongi tenderly moves the blanket away from the baby's face. "She is why you have to."

Everyone in the room remains silent and steps away, arms around each other, to give Namjoon a little space.

With tears in his eyes, Namjoon lifts his head, looks at Yoongi, and says, "You are right, hyung. I can't give up. She needs me."

Yoongi hugs him, and the others gather around to admire Namjoon's baby daughter.