First Dance

Life Goes On

'Winter sought to claim two hearts but what it wants is all for naught for life in her arms and herself she rings the bell sending winter's encroaching need for death back to hell.'

You sign and date your poem, close your journal, and smile. You lay your pen down, happy it is done, when you feel a warm hand rest on your shoulder. You turn, still smiling, looking up into the face of your sweet husband.

"It seems our little Princess is hungry." His face is blushing deeply pink.

You put a hand over your mouth, stifling a laugh. There stands your gentle giant with your three-month-old daughter in the infant sling across his chest. You finally let your laughter out as her face is nuzzling, trying to suckle his shirt, looking for lunch.

You stand and take her from the baby sling, softly giggle at Namjoon, saying, "I will take care of that, Yeobo." You look at his shirt, "You may want to change your shirt before we go."

Still blushing, he kisses you and then goes to the closet for another shirt. You sit in the comfy rocker the boys bought for you and the baby. You are so happy that the doctors have let you know it is now safe to breastfeed. You have been expressing the milk for a couple of months to prevent the breast milk production from drying up, even though it was painful for you after heart surgery. 

Namjoon having changed his shirt comes and sits on the footrest by the rocker and says, "You two are beautiful. I love you so much."

 He watches his daughter having lunch, "That is just so amazing." 

He looks up at you and says, "You are amazing, too, having come through so much and still having your bright smile." He softly runs his hand through your short, now wavy hair, and he stands to kiss you.

There is a knock at the bedroom door. He gets up and goes to the door, slightly opening it, and sees Jin standing there.

"Are you about ready to go? The ceremony starts in half an hour." Jin informs you.

You smile and call out, "You can come in, Jin. It's alright."

Namjoon steps back to let him in. Jin smiles as you rock the baby, patting her back, hoping to get her to burp. You all are startled when she burps loudly, and you start laughing.

"She must like to eat like her Uncle Kooki." Jin blushes, "Um I mean, not eat like her, like on your breas . . . um, well, you know uh . . ." he blushes profusely.

Laughing at Jin, you say, "Yes, she does love to eat a lot like her Uncle Kooki and sometimes burp like him, too."

Jin, still blushing, smiles, "Um yeah, that was what I meant. Well, I just wanted to let you know we will be leaving soon."

"Thank you, hyung. We will be ready," says Namjoon as he takes the baby and holds her to his shoulder to burp her again. Jin leaves, closing the door behind him.

You reach out to stop him saying, "Jooni, wait no . . ." too late she burped and spit up on his shoulder.

You start laughing at him, saying, "Now you need to change your shirt again."

Smiling, he hands her back to you and takes another shirt from the closet. You change your clothes and start changing the baby.

Namjoon says, "I can do this Hana, you finish getting ready."

You meet the others in the living room, all ready to go. You reach the special bell-ringing ceremony site at the cancer treatment center. Your nurses who were there with you through the journey are there to celebrate your end of treatment. You had to postpone the bell-ringing ceremony for a month, but now you are ready.

The boys form a semi-circle around you with Namjoon by your side. You hold your little miracle in your arms and reach out to ring the bell three times, thus signaling your completion of treatment and to celebrate that you're in remission. If, after five years, it does not return, your doctors will consider you cancer-free.

Later that night, you are writing in your journal again, starting a new chapter of winning the battle with cancer and starting a new life as a family with your gentle giant, little Princess, and her six gallant knights. You look up from your writing and see Namjoon sleeping.

'A Princess should always have knights to protect and defend her as I have my gentle giant.'

You turn off the little light over your desk and walk to the bed. You stand there smiling down at Jooni, asleep with Ara in his arms. Your eyes mist with tears of love at the sight. You lift Ara from his arms as she begins wiggling about. You watch Namjoon snuggle the blanket in his arms, still asleep, and whisper, "Shhh, daddy's got ya."

You try not to giggle as you carry Ara over to the rocker and begin to feed her. You look into her cute, sleepy eyes and whisper, "We both have a life full of love ahead of us, little one."