Wings of fate

Chapter 15

Flying with a dragon was a wonderful experience. The feeling of this could literally cure all my broken parts. We flew for a very long time before the dragon stopped and went down to the ground. For the first time not being a faerie came handy because Jai, Xara and Onyx didn't get to experience flying with a dragon. Plus they were very tired after all that flying.

"I think we should name the dragon," I said the moment we landed. I had thought about it the entire ride and decided it would be a good idea. Afterall we can't just continue to call him the dragon.

"Do you have anything in mind?" I turned to Jai with his question.

"I think Qedivar suits him" With the name I found I turned to the dragon to see if he likes it. It was his name afterall. He purred with a satisfied expression leading us all to laugh.

"Qedivar, I like how it sounds," said Onyx. Now that this was solved everybody started looking around. We were in a place full of rubbles of collapsed buildings. Unlike the other places we saw of Guernri there was no nature here. It was just the rubbles and rocks. As much as I tried to stop myself it didn't work and my eyes watered. All the rubbles reminded me too much of my father and the last time I saw him. The image of his blood dripping came to my mind and my knees weakened. The fact that I was able to laugh in the last days stabbed my heart. I knew I shouldn't think like this but I still couldn't stop myself from feeling guilty. With the sudden urge to dissolve into these rocks I sat down. Everyone turned around to see what I was doing and suddenly I was crying. It was like a pinata, I had too much inside me and the events around me were hitting me non stop. At the end I exploded. I was crying for everything.

There were days where I felt like I could do everything and succeed and there were days where I felt like I couldn't succeed in anything. Last night I had a moon with me. In the sky. Making sure I was okay and that I survived this world. Today I killed the moon. I killed it with my tears running down my chins. I killed it when I sat down and gave up. Now I have no protectors left. I don't have my mother, I don't have my father and I don't have my moon. It left me too. It was my fault too. Everything is my fault and I just keep hurting people around me.

"The moon is dead, I killed it. I said I won't cry, I won't give up but now I did." My words were shaky between my sobs but they were enough for Polaris to come hug me. After her everybody followed her and we were a big circle of kids hugging. Suddenly I was a little girl again crying in my bed hoping someone would come hug me. No one came and I was just laying there the whole night wanting someone to see me. But this time someone came. Four wonderful kids came. This time it was different. My wounds were deeper but so were their hugs. This was healing a part of me I didn't know was broken.

"You are allowed to cry my dear, you are allowed to give up too. You don't have to stay strong all the time, if you fall we can raise you up again. Don't bear all the weight all alone, share some with us too" I looked up to Jai with tears in my eyes. He was right but it was still difficult. I can't cry everytime I see rubble but I still wanted. And I had to get myself together. Focus on the task at the hand. Forget about my cuts. I could survive as long as the cuts didn't bleed through the bandage. And my bandage was my sister, it was Jai, it was Onyx, it was Xara, it was Eleni and I was sure they could stop the blood coming through. Who knows maybe I will heal too?

I wiped my tears and stood up.

"I have been such a crybaby in the last days but I am going to get myself together." Everyone was looking at me with sad eyes and I didn't want pity so I turned around and started walking towards one of the buildings that was still standing. Well, half of it was standing at least.

They understood that I didn't want to talk about it so no one commented more and instead followed me to the building.

"I wonder what happened here?"