I want to heal myself but I just don't how ,the flashbacks and everything are still there in my mind like fresh wounds.I never told you this but I was once a domestic worker for a month reason being my step father the one I thought was my father started getting sick then my mom suggested that I exchange roles that I go and be a stay in helper at her work place then she gets to take care of my father.I was excited because I was living in the suburbs those classy places that have gates that use remotes to open them.The first day I met the lady by the way she was white or is still white not sure if she still lives.Then I aas assigned chores it all became an easy job because my mom guided me om how do you clean the house and all of that.To my surprise it had been Angela's mother probably around the age of 75.I would wake up and make some breakfast for her which is soft porridge along with bread that has bovril nasty right? I know.Madam had no washing machine and I even remember it was during the winter season she'd make wash her heavy jerseyes, trousers and even bed sheets.Some day she recommended or suggested that I go help the neighbors it was her daughter and I had no problem with it so I said okay I'll go and help.It was a mess when I saw the dishes that had piled ,the bedrooms had been a mess more of a pigsty.Dirty spoons and eating bowls under the bed which had food that had stayed there for days,clothes scattered everywhere it was deja Vu.I started working by clearing the beds and clothing everywhere then dealt with the dishes the last thing that was left for me to do was the sweeping and washing the floors.It took me 3 hours to finish the dishes and sorting out the rooms.Imagine a 14 year old slaving herself for the sake of not sleeping on an empty stomach. Not knowing whether your father will be okay or not,crying yourself each and every single day asking yourself why did it have to be me who became a substitute to clean after the mess of people who are vile towards you.You know sometimes I ask myself how was it going to be if my real mother had been present my entire life probably I would knkw how new clothes would smell.Not wear clothes that were once worn by someone.Not know how much underwears costed at a clothing store ,havinv to ask from people when you had nothing in the house to eat.
End of flashback
***
"Nomzamo honey ,open up for me.It has been days since you locked yourself inside that room we need to iron things out and sort them.I need you Zamo please"
Nomzamo heads for the door.
"Please get me someone I can talk to maybe to heal a bit or have acceptance of the situation that I am in.It won't get easy but hopefully I find myself on this healing process which includes forgiving myself for feeling like this so that I have the ability to forgive you and father " says Nomzamo
"I will see what I and your dad can to get you one of the best shrinks in the country .I love you my darling"says mom
"you know growing up I used to envy other kids who had their mothers accompanying them to school with their cars while my mom was busy nursing someones daughter who happens to be the one who put me through this trauma but I'm glad I have a family now because I needed a sense of belonging each and every single day.Before mom died she had encouraged me to go back to schoolto try and pursue ny studies or even work at a coffee shop then Angela decided to take that one person who had my heart.She lived for me till this day I never felt any weird behavior,she treated me like I was her own daughter it's going to take time for me to warm up to you but I'll understand that it was not your fault at all.So I want to say to you that I forgive you mom ,I also believe that it is time to now start on a clean slate without any conflicts or even arguments. I don't want problems I want peace Mom also to find solace in myself ,to be happy not be stressed by situations or even emotions I have no power of controlling them.Tears that just stream down like a river flowing non-stop ,I don't want all of that.I need to be rescued from my own misery is that too much to ask for mom?"says Nomzamo
***
"Mother when was the last time you heard from the girl we rescued from the dungeons?Did she survive or she died and finally went to her mother in heaven as she had been grieving for the past few months "says Mzwandile
"Why are being so insensitive don't you have any shame Onyx,the poor girl could be suffering where she is your father and I are not going back on our words, it's final and a done discussion. You will be getting married to Nomzamo she's even worthy to be your wife "says Nombuso
"Ma!Ma!I had told you this in the first place that I would not settle for such. Imagine marrying Nomzamo that's a downgrade did you ever see my very own love ,one of the most prettiest woman I ever laid my eyes on Earth then you come up with that wretched girl she's behind with everything. The long dresses she wears always having headwraps on you like taking me back to the 70s and that is so unfair mother"says Mzwandile
"You scolded the poor girl the other day telling her that you are a zulu man who eats uphuthu not that rubbish and now you telling me that nonsense of the 70s blahblah.Oh please get off that high horse you on,your father and I told you that it's time for you to settle and who knows Nomzamo might be just the right girl for you to change that mindset and stubborn Onyx that you are.You are so full of yourself my boy and very handsome too"says Nombuso
"Your mother is brutally honest it's time for you to settle down now and stop with the booze who knows maybe having a wife might put you in your rightful place by stopping all this childish behaviour that you have it so annoying sometimes you don't act like the grown-up that you are.You are getting married to Nomzamo and of discussion."Says Siyanda
***
YOU ARE READING
NOMZAMO
General FictionEmbark on a journey of Nomzamo who grew under the shadow of her mother being a slave.Her mother dies,Nomzamo is required to take her job but what happens after that only time will tell.
