NOMZAMO

chapter 19

Mandlakhe's Pov

I know that of you all think that I hate Zamo in all honesty I really don't. This is all so new to me well I was aware that I have a daughter who is of 21 years of age that is weird right well I had been keeping a calender from the day since she was born on till date.She is grown yet you can see pain that is in her eyes ,I cannot go to her and say baby you are grown so much and you look just like me that would be so selfish of me right.This is what I've decided to do;I will keep my distance from her till she is healed.Who knows maybe she hates me for neglecting her how I wish I was able to get into her thoughts and be able to relate to what she js feeling deep inside. My only wish was for Nomzamo to grow under my wing but that never happened due to some traditions and norms that were followed in my family so we had to decide whether we abort or keep her. My wife and I decided to keep her then we will give her away so that is when Nozithelo decided that Nomzamo would stay with her late sister. You can clearly see that Zamo was well taken care of till her Aunt departed. I hate myself for neglecting her her two siblings had the nest upbringing it pains me knowing that she never got to finish her high schoil so that she would be able to further her studies and take care of herself.Before I forget I am Mandlake Mchunu a husband to Nozithelo Mchunu the love of my life and a father to two children one is a girl aged 8 years  and the other one is boy aged 15 years. Their names are Agape and Milán.A doctor who is a general practitioner in Newmarket Day Hospital in Alberton.

A conversation between Nomzamo and Dr Naidoo

"As you are saying all of this I don't think you have any idea of what I went through all of these 21 years.When you think that I would have lived a normal life like my siblings but I grew up like a dog that had no rightful owner.I have never worn anything with a price tag I had to wear clothes that were oversized to a point where I would clip them with a clothe peg .Do you have any idea of how that made me feel being reduced to nothing because my mother was only able to afford paying rent and to buy the necessities like mealie meal ,cooking oil ,salt ,sugar ,sanitary towels, washing detergent powder or even a roll on.Then you come here and tell me that I must give my parents a chance to rectify their mistake.I will ask you one question and please be brutally honest with me.Can you make all the bruises disappear on my body?Can you make all the memories where I was locked up in that dirty dungeon smelling like pee disappear?Can you?No I don't think so.My mother didn't pay you to do that.I need to heal internally not externally. You Dr Naidooo are not giving me the best antidote that I need for my pain. There may be treatments for scars and bruises but they are just there to numb and keep the pain from not harming you temporarily can you give me a more permanent one Dr.J think we are done here kindly call my mother and tell her that we are done by the way thank you for your services I might look forward for the next session and please don't take anything personally it was just a venting session no hard feelings. You asked what I felt then I poured my cup of feelings to you.You are so kind and such a good listener"says Nomzamo

"Don't mention it at all honey I am so glad that you were able to open up tp me and tell me what is in your heart.One request from me to you is that find time to forgive yourself first that is the first step to healing.Once you forgive youself you destroy  barrier that you have created to allow to forgive others. That will start by forgiving your late aunt first the way you spoke of her gave off negative vibes that didn't sit well with me.In my opinion it felt as if you are angry at her for agreeing with your parents as to why did she agree with taking you in bear in mind that she was only looking out  for you had she not done all of that who knows maybe your mother(Nozithelo) might have aborted you to abide by the norms and traditions so stop spewing nonsense and try to weigh all the options.Ask yourself if you had been her(Nozithelo)what would you have done ,would you have killed the baby or kept the baby and watch the baby grow up far from you?I'll call your mother now you have some thinking and forgiving to do young you.Thank you so much for opening up to me I'll get a hefty payroll this month end"says Dr Naidoo

"I'll reconsider your advice then thank you Dr"says Nomazmo

                              ***
At the Mchunu household

Nomzamo and her mother enter into the house everyone is seated for lunch as soon as they see them the two siblings become elated to see their Big sister.They run to hug her and Nomzamo feels a sense of belonging for that particular moment but then it didn't last that long when their father interrupted this precious moment they had telling them that it's time to eat.Everyone gets seated minding their own business Nomzamo decides to interrupt by saying something then her father quickly calls her to order by telling her that manners on the table matter you cannot talk while you eating she quickly is hit by an emotion of rejection she then feels suffocated and decides to excuse herself to get her dignity that she lost back at the table.

A conversation between Nozithelo and Mandla

"Why would you do that ,you know that Zamo is vulnerable any statement or question might be personal for her to handle the poor girl must be thinking that you hate her guts "says Nozithelo

"She should be taught all of this since you know the situation that she was in the manners and all of that "says Mandla

"What is that supposed to mean are you insulting my late sister about the upbringing of Nomzamo.Remember that it's all your fault that we are in this situation  Nomzamo should have been here with us if you decided to stick to your word by marrying me"says Nozithelo

"Honey,I thought we were past through all of that we want to the shrink to tell her our problems and they were solves and now you going back to square one arg come on"says Mandla

"You are so arrogant you don't want to be told that you are wrong and that is your problem fix this mess before it gets out of hand.If Zamo decides to do something stupid it will all be on you and I won't forgive you this time instead you'll be served with a divorce I've had enough of the heartache please fix it " says Nozithelo