NOMZAMO

chapter 18

Nomzamo's POV

Well today I'll be meeting up with my shrink it won't be easy to open up to her but it's my responsibility to make sure that I manipulate myself to talk to that person. I hope they don't bore me with "I know it's too much honey but I'll need you to cooperate by talking to me ".I don't think these people understand that it's not easy to just be an open book so that everyone can easily understand you ,people who find themselves in my situation sometimes wish that if they had the power to strangle these people they would just to release their frustrations on them once they see that they are dead that is when they become satisfied. Surely you must be wondering about my dad ,I have not found the time to have a talk with him because I'm scared of him and how he also looks like.See I have not yet fully forgives my parents but at tha same time I have.While I'm busy with myself talk someone decided to burst my small bubbly world.

"Morning Mom,I hope you slept well you know these formalities of greeting and asking how a person is are so overrated can one who comes to my room get straight to the point and not beat about the bust.How does it sound ,perfect right?I know. So Mom ,why are you here and what brought you to my room this early?"says Nomzamo

"Is it a crime now to come and check up on my only daughter. Then if I don't do so she'll end up playing victim by saying my mom this and that or am I wrong.You know what is your favorite line as a teenager that is most popularly used by teens it says I'd rather let depression chew me up than to open up to someone by selling myself about what I'm suffering from." Says Nozithelo

"It's not like that mom,you never notice how teenagers are.We simply want you parents to create a safe space for us to talk and be carefree without being crucified for what we feel deeply inside"says Nomzamo

"I totally understand but personally I feel like it actually creates a bond with no boundaries wherr a child ends up not knowing the difference between a mother or a friend so that is why I found a shrink for you so that you can freely open up to her.Your first date is today so you little missy get ready and come down to have breakfast with us you also need to get familiar with your siblings so that they can be able to converse with you freely."says Nozithelo

                     
Moments later

Nomzamo is having a hard time ,she is having a battle or mini debate with her subconscious mind whether she should go and have breakfast with her new family. It's too much to handle for her ,this thing of having breakfast with unfamiliar people seems foreign to her but she has no choice because this is her family at the end of the day.

"(a bit shy) Morning everybody my name is Nomzamo uhmmm the newest member of the family. It's so nice to meet all of you even though it's such an unpleasant time.Looks like I've missed out on a lot well I mean my siblings are so grown.Also dad looks a lot like me an exact replica of me this is weird."

"Finally the big sister made it,I've been waiting for you for days now hoping to see you descend down the stairs.You look a lot like dad and mom used to talk about by saying you know you guys have a sister who looks a lot like your father one day she'll find her way back home.My name is Agape nice to mee you sister can I then get a hug if you don't mind my goofy self ?"says Agape

"Yea sure come get the hug I mean it's been a while since I last received a warm hug.(hugs her).Then let's stop with all of this I need to fuel up my body it's been a while since I last ate without being monitored"

(Laughs around the table but then dad stands up without even looking at Nomazamo.Now that is a deal breaker don't you think.The poor child just returned home she would really appreciate some love)

"Mom what just happened, I never got the memo that my dad would actually stand up as I decide to join breakfast today.Does he hate me to the extent of not looking at me in the eyes.Are you done so that I can meet up with my shrink I need to release before I suffer from this recent heartbreak "says Nomzamo

" Okay,let us get going then so here is the deal I will drop you off and fetch you once you done with your session.I am well aware that you have no cell phone at all so I will ask the lady to call me once your session is over hun"says Nozithelo
                               
  
                                  ***
Moments later...

"Morning Mrs Naidoo,this is my daughter Nomazmo your patient for the day.Please do call me once you are done with the venting sessions Bye hun I'll see you later on."says Nozithelo

"I'll be okay mom see you later.Can you give me a hug?"says Nomzamo (Gently hugs her and exits)

"I am Mrs Naidoo your shrink throughout your healing journey.How do you feel today or at this present moment "says Mrs Naidoo

"I don't know maybe a bit lost my own father decided to stand up and leave without saying anything to me or maybe he hates me for returning. I just don't know or I had expectations thinking that he'd be happy and reconcile with me just like that.Maybe he is the reason my own mother neglected me in the first place the look on his face showed me that he truly hates me to the core. I decided not to cry because my siblings were sitting at the table and that I would be deemed as weak but it hurt me right?I had every right to cry he treated me like a stranger.I am an exact copy of him so there is no way he can deny me of my rights.He is so wrong "says Nomzamo

"Your father doesn't hate you at all the reason he might be like that might be that he is regretting all the years that he could not spend with you maybe thinking that he missed a lot on your upbringing. He is not angry at you but he is angry at himself as to why was he not present in your life the first time you came into this world also to witness your first steps. "says Mrs Naidoo

"How do you know all of  that I mean you just met my mother today"says Nomazmo

"This is a very small world Zamo,your father and mother are my patients they've been here since the day they lost you this has taken a huge toll on their mental health especially your mother. The first time she came here she was lost in her own fantasy hearing faint cries of a baby who never   kept quiet and I figured out that it had been you all along.Your dad still has resentment  buried  in his heart of not being a present father.He wished that you had a normal childhood just like your siblings. Give your parents a chance to get to know you more don't create this barrier to limit you from seeing the treasure that is in your eyes they are your only family. "