In A Blink ➳ Barry Allen/The Flash

14.

chapter fourteen ; heavy weight of secrets

_________________

Currently, Barry was running. Running late and running at the speed of sound to the Central City Train Station to pick up Natalie's brother, slowed down by the weight of the day and the anxiety of the coming evening. Caitlin should already be there but he promised he would be there too. He just has to keep running.

A few hours earlier,after Natalie had ended the call with Chris, she went home early claiming that she had to hide all of the alcohol because "teenagers will be stupid". The kicker - it would be hidden in her stomach and reappear the next day in the toilet and in the form of a headache.

Barry then, after she had left, finished up his notes on the case before turning it in to Joe and proceeded to walk home, wanting to think. To think about the past and the present. To dwell on the fact that he was finally doing something for himself, and he was happy.

He used to think that only Iris could make him smile, but then he met Natalie. The two girls were, in a words, the opposite of Barry, but both were also different from each other. And the way he feels for Natalie is different than the way he felt for Iris.

Growing up, Iris was the only person Barry let inside his walls. The only person who he could confide in and trust with utter completeness. It made them incredibly close. When they were in their teens, Barry found that he couldn't get that close with any other girl, to let them in his walls. He wasn't comfortable with people knowing who he really was, inside and out. The only person was Iris.

Before, Barry wanted more from Iris and as he was walking then from the CCPD, Barry realized it was because it was safe. Loving Iris was safe. She already knew him. She knew his past, his habits, the good and the bad about him, his quirks. She wouldn't have to learn anything and be scared away. He wouldn't have to worry about meeting her parents or dealing with protective older siblings or exes because he had already dealt with that. He already meant something to her.

But Barry doesn't want to settle for safe.

Because of that lightning strike, Barry was given a chance to break out of that so called safety zone. He was finally given the chance to help people, to save lives. Everyday, he puts his life on the line to make sure that the people around him have the chance to see another day, to get their happy endings. He lives his life on the razor sharp edge everyday. A new adventure, everyday. And he finds himself hungry for it.

With Natalie, he gets a similar feeling. The thrill of adventure. The challenge he faces as he wants to pull back all of the layers, one at a time. To discover something new about her everyday. And as he thinks when he was walking, he finds that he wants to be discovered too. He wants someone to peel back his layers, to expose his skin, to discover parts of him he didn't even know was there.

As he walked down the streets, Barry couldn't help but laugh to himself as he thinks back on the last month. A whole lot has changed, just because of one person. And he admitted to himself, he was infatuated with Natalie. The way she was able to make him think for himself, to really look at where he stands in people's lives, all just by a simple smile. She was worth the risk.

Just as his thoughts simmered, they were pushed back as the vibration of his phone shocked him back onto Earth. When he looked at the text, he saw it was from Chris saying his train was scheduled to arrive in two and a half hours. Figuring he had time, Barry ducked into an alleyway before speeding to S.T.A.R. Labs to squeeze in some training to please Dr. Wells for the day. As he walked into the Cortex, his smile fell, seeing the somber expressions on Caitlin and Dr. Well's faces.