This is me trying

Dear reader

~Never take advice from someone who's falling apart~

I shoot straight out of bed, breathing heavily. I had another nightmare, looking at my phone, I see it's only 2 a.m. I won't go back to sleep, I don't want another nightmare.

I grab my phone and earphones, I put on some music and close my eyes, wondering how my life would be if I wasn't in the system. Maybe I'd have friends at school, maybe be allowed to do what I love to do. Maybe I would just be happy.

~

Crap, I fell back asleep. I force myself out of bed and get ready. Running down the stairs I hear noise in the kitchen. My foster father is already awake. I have two options. Either I face his wrath. Or I run and get worse tonight when I get home.

I'm going to go for it now, hopefully it won't be that bad. I walk into the kitchen, but I can't find him. I walk over to the window, maybe he went outside for some reason.

I look out the window and find something I would have never guessed. There are some police cars outside the house. Just then, the doorbell rings. I walk over to open it, but get pushed onto the floor. "Don't you even dare to open it." my foster father, who could have guessed.

He pushes me into the study. "Do not come out unless I say so, you know what would happen." He says as he locks the door. What is happening?

"Open the door, police." I hear him walking away quickly. "Open the door, or we will kick it down." I hear a loud bang, they kicked the door down. Suddenly, I hear gunshots. Crap. I rush to hide under the desk. "Suspect is armed!" I hear more gunshots, until I hear someone say "Drop your weapon, show me your hands. Put your hands behind your head and interlace your fingers." I hear the sound of handcuffs "Suspect in custody. Sweeping the location."

What do I do, they might think I did something bad as well. I stay hidden under the desk, my hands are shaking, I try to calm my breathing, I do not want to get a panic attack right now.

"This door is locked." "If anyone is in there, move away from the door, I am going to break it open." I hear a bang, and the door opens. "Grace are you in here?" How do they know my name? "Grace?" I hear footsteps getting closer.

"Grace can you get up for me?" I look up and see a police officer standing there sticking his hand out for me, I grab it and get up. "Hi, I understand this might seem weird to you, but we have evidence of your foster father abusing you, therefore, we have arrested him. Is it okay if we take you to the station for some questions?" "Yeah sure that's fine." "Okay let's walk outside."

~

"What will happen to me now?" "Well, since you are still underage, you are going back into the system, either a group home or a new family." A different officer walks over and starts talking to the one who got me out of the study. Great, can anything ever go my way? My hands are still shaking.

Police are taking my foster father out of the house, but he sees me "I will get you, just you wait!" My mind instantly goes into a state of panic and I step back, the officer reaches out to guide me to the car but I flinch away.

I start struggeling to breathe and step back more, out of the corner of my eye, I see someone walking over. The second officer starts talking to me "Hey Grace we don't have time for this we have to go." he says while raising his voice.

The person walking over steps in front of me and grabs my hands, she guides me over to a wall and helps me sit on the floor "Can you try and follow my breathing?" I try but nothing comes in, she grabs my hand and squeezes it "Good, breathe in for me, you can do it. Can you tell me your name?" "G- Grace." I manage to tell her "Grace, that's a nice name, can you take one deep breath for me?" It's working, I am able to take a deep breath in "Good, keep breathing for me." She turns around but keeps holding my hand. "What are you doing, she was clearly having a panic attack." one of the officers tries to talk back but she cuts him off "You were yelling at her, and you were just standing there, do you think that will help."

She turns back to me "Are you okay?" "Yeah, sure, I'm fine, it's not the first time I've dealt with a panic attack." "Oh honey, you shouldn't have to deal with them alone."

"Miss, we need to take her to the station now." "Oh well, here's my number, if you ever need help, you can call me." she says. "Thank you, what is your name?"

"My name's Taylor."