This is me trying

Mean

~Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me~

~Grace's version~

I hear my alarm going off, but I have been awake for hours overthinking everything after having another nightmare. I yawn and pull myself out of bed to get ready. I put on some baggy jeans and a hoodie before walking over to the bathroom to do some simple makeup. I run downstairs before I hear Jack and Ava, so I can do the dishes they left last night after coming home, because I heard a lot of noise when they came back.

When I come downstairs I'm glad I did, since the place is a mess, so I instantly get to work.

~

When I feel like the place is clean enough, I start to set the table. I grab the cereal boxes that are usually on the table and place o spoon and bowl at everyone's spot at the table.

Just as I place the last bowl, Jack and Ava arrive downstairs. They barely acknowledge me as they walk past me to sit down at the table, but when I go to sit, Ava speaks up. "I really don't think you should be eating now don't you?" I freeze. "I uh-" "I agree, I don't know what Taylor told you, but you really don't need it." Jack adds. "Why don't you go do some schoolwork upstairs or something."

I nod and quickly walk upstairs, trying to suppress the tears coming up. A million thoughts are cirkeling my head. Are they right? I should've realized earlier. But Taylor told me so many times it didn't matter. What's one person against everyone else though. It's my fault really. They are right aren't they. I do look terrible. Every piece of clothing I have fits tighter now. Clothes shouldn't fit like that. They're right. They're right. Everyone thinks that.

Walking into the room, I collapse onto the bed, letting silent tears out as I cry into the pillow. I know I should do something, but I can't get myself to get up anymore. And like that, I cry myself to sleep, sleeping a deep sleep for the first time since I got here.

~

"What do you think you are doing!" I shoot up out of bed. Crap, I fell asleep. "I told you to do schoolwork didn't I? But you didn't listen to what I said now did you." I stay silent, shaking in fear. "I asked you a question," Jack says as he harshly grabs my arm and pulls me of of the bed. "Did you do what I told you to do?" He asks in a creepy calm manner. "No sir," I almost whisper.

"I'm sorry sir, I wasn't thinking, I should've done what you asked me," I manage to say before feeling a burning pain on my cheek. He slapped me. I bring my hand up to my face "Don't talk withouth permission, do you understand." He hits me again, this time punching me in the stomach. Due to the amount of pain, I double over, clutching my arms over me stomach. He pushes me to the ground and kicks me one more time. "I hope for you that you've learned your lesson there," He says to me before leaving the room and slamming the door shut.

I stay there on the ground, tears streaming down my face, while trying to get any air in, without succeeding. I somehow manage to push myself up to a seated position and bury my head in my hands. As I try to calm myself down from this panic attack, I realise, I'm right back where I started. Life gave me a slight sliver of hope, before turning around and taking it right away, and this time, I can't even trust the person in my headphones anymore.

~

(Taylor's version)

I let my phone slip out of my hands onto the coffee table, as I still see no response whatsoever to the messages I sent to Grace. This can mean two things. Either this family is great to her and she doesn't need me right now, or the complete opposite. And God I hope it's the first one.