NAFISA

𝐌𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐝🤰😣

𝐍𝐚𝐟𝐢𝐬𝐚 𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐚𝐤𝐢💕

I watched baby noor grow up to the exact replica of her dad, she was eight months already yet very stubborn. I sometimes wonder where she inherited that trait from, she literally loves going close to things that were dangerous. Motherhood is so stressful you know, I don't even know how I do it. Sometimes I just feel like giving up but then Alhamdulilah

I know I am going to miss all of the moments we had together once she is all grown up, I sometimes want her to remain just as she is but sometimes no because of how troublesome she gets, even though sometimes it's easy because qalbi and chuchu are here and even my maid but still, when it's late in the night, That's when she's awake and won't just keep shut you know, she wants the light on, she wants me to play with her, cuddle her while I want to sleep. Is that fair? Qalbi goes to work early in the morning and I have my little bakery to attend too the next morning. So in other not to get sleep deprived in the night I sometimes take her to the other room, to chuchu's room if she is free and awake.

Chuchu goes to school so she is not always free in the night but she helps me a lot to be honest, even when she is reading she sometimes goes on break and play with her until she falls asleep and then bring her to my room or the maid plays with her too

She cries a lot sometime when I take her to chuchu or the maid, she just wants to be with me and when she is with me she doesn't stay in one place, dragging this, pulling that and just causing chaos. I have to wake up early to help qalbi get dressed and eat before going to work and that's only possible if I have good time sleep, one thing with me I can't go back to sleep in the morning once I am up maybe till in the afternoon and when I want go back to sleep noor is always awake, even when she sleeps she wants to be in my hands, or when I cook she wants me to hold her

I actually cook for the house, I don't let my maid cook or chuchu so sometimes after a long time at the bakery, I come back home and still have to cook and that's when noor starts with her daily banters. Noor doesn't even sleep in the morning or afternoon, so she gives me hard time in the bakery, she sleeps around 6 and once it's 8 she is up and won't sleep again until around 12

Weighing all this you know it's so hard and stressing, even though ummi, mamie, nana and my other siblings are always checking up on me, praying for me, trying to make things easy for me. It's still is hard, I love noor alot but sometimes I just can't keep up with her

I am just happy I have qalbi by my side, he is just the best, he is the joy of my life. Once I am stressed qalbi knows so he plays with noor while I rest or when some foodstuffs are finished he goest to the market and get them, making things easy for me, he even backs noor and take her for strolling. He does a lot, he is the DG of his office so he doesn't have to go to work everyday even though he goes sosai, he is dedicated but if he a free he will surely lend a helping hand

It's not like I am use to all this, back at home I was always free, just sleep, eat, go to school and keep repeating the same thing, now I have to take care of the house, take care of qalbi, take care of noor, take care of myself, take care of my bakery. I sometimes just go to my room and lock myself up and cry, wondering why all this is happening and even sometimes question Allah but then I will remember it's wrong to question Allah, this was all destined to happen sooner or later and this was literally thesame way our parents did to us

I sat playing with noor when I heard a knock on the door and my maid (bilki) opened the door, it was my neighbors malam sultan and maman adil that visited me today, after saying the taslim they sat down while Bilki brought refreshments and took noor away, she whined and wanted to stay but nah I told her to take her away and put her to sleep

"Amarya, how is motherhood treating you, see as you just Dey fresh and fat. Gaskiya you humbled pregnancy" maman adil joked

"Who told you that? Alhamdulilah de we are trying Amma it's not easy, how am I glowing mamah adil Habba dai" I replied with a beaming smile