Divine Assistance

The Interview

I need a drink.

No, seriously. I need a drink. Not the kind of drink I would have for a spur-of-the-moment or a fun time or even just to get a bit buzzed. The full-on, fuck my life, give me something for the pain, kind of drink. I rub my right temple as I dismiss the latest list of failed applicants for my new club assistant manager position. The last one I had got killed in a drive-by shooting (a pretty common death these days), and now I was forced to find someone new to take her place. You might think that, after tens of thousands of years, I would be used to this bullshit, but the truth was I hated management crap like this.

Being the Queen of Gluttony, Ring Lord of one of the Seven Deadly Sins, and fourth in line for the throne of Hell should anything happen to Lucifer, Charlie, or Satan came with many benefits that I happily took advantage of with glee. While I have changed a lot since becoming a demon, I can safely say that Gluttony is one of the most popular and safe rings to live in. Something I took pride in considering Pride itself was laced with Overlord wars, Greed was a place you got shanked for even a single dollar, and Envy was a place you drowned in because Leviathan was a brat whose upset attitude always caused tsunamis whenever she was angry. But even so, it wasn't all fun and games because you always had to do a bunch of royal duty shit from going to meetings, authorizing laws, protecting your borders, manipulating humans to do your building to cause chaos, and that wasn't even going into managing taxes, budgets, population control, sanitation, and more.

If I had my way, I would just be running my clubs and focusing on that, but nobody else in Gluttony cares about it like I do. Too many of my demons depend on me, including the Hellhounds whom I've come to shelter from those who mistreat them. Hell, I even allow more congenial laws for Imps.

Still, I couldn't do everything, and I needed an assistant. One with experience and talent. Also, one that would not try to secretly usurp me like one of my previous ones did. I made sure that their blood was served as a special cocktail on the night of their death.

Looking at the applications, I just grumbled and shook my head. A hundred and twenty-one demons, and not one of them was good enough for what I was looking for. Half of them wanted to get hired because of the free booze, and the other half were inexperienced or incompetent. I asked them basic questions that any manager would know, and they barely could get half of them. One incubus even tried to use his powers of seduction to get me to hire him. I told him I'd rather fuck Mammon's cock than anything he had and sent him on his way. Right after sending a stinger up his ass.

Although, I think he got turned on by that.

My cellphone rang, and I saw it was one of my bouncers and close friends, Vortex, calling me. I answered it and smirked, "Hey, Tex. How's your date with your girl?"

"Doing good. Still got her father stalking us," Tex says on the other line.

"Loona told him off yet?" I ask while thinking about the strange Imp who managed to actually beat me in a drinking contest. A first for me, and that was a scarce experience anymore. Of course, he wasn't in the best of moods, and Loona told me why. I'm just glad he and Prince Stolas finally cleared the air. They are such a cute couple.

"I think at this point she's given up," Tex chuckled. "How's the job hunt?"

"Shitty," I answered as I summoned that drink I wanted with my powers and chugged it down. "Four days, and I still haven't found someone to help with the club. At this point, I'm willing to hire anyone."

"I'm sure someone will come along," Vortex assured me. "You'll get someone, Bee. I mean, not everyone in Hell is incompetent. Just most of it."