𝙲𝚕𝚊𝚠𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙵𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚜

𝟗．𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐞

oh, i love it and i hate it at the same time
you and i drink the poison from the same vine
oh, i love it and i hate it at the same time
hidin' all of our sins from the daylight

YARA ❦

Ears occupied with: BSD S5 Outro
16/9/2023
Current mood: tired

I've finally reached Fontaine after an eternity. Sumeru's archon quest wasn't the best, and I was actually trying to delay it all because I'm AR45 and I don't think I can defeat that robotic god or whatever I spoiled on myself. Anyhow, I've finished the Fontaine archon quest, and since Kio is online, farming in her own world, I decided to chat her.

𒊹︎ 𝖨 𝖽𝗈𝗇𝗍 𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾 𝖼𝗅𝗈𝗋𝗂𝗇𝖽𝖾
𒊹︎ 𝗂𝖿 𝖨 𝖽𝗂𝖽𝗇'𝗍 𝗄𝗇𝗈𝗐 𝖿𝗋𝖾𝗇𝖼𝗁 𝖨 𝗐𝗈𝗎𝗅𝖽𝗏𝖾 𝗆𝗂𝗌𝗍𝗈𝗈𝗄 𝗁𝖾𝗋 𝗇𝖺𝗆𝖾 𝖺𝗌 𝖼𝗁𝗅𝗈𝗋𝗂𝗇𝖾
𒊹︎ 𝖿𝗎𝗋𝗂𝗇𝖺 𝖺𝗅𝗌𝗈 𝗉𝗂𝗌𝗌𝖾𝗌 𝗆𝖾 𝗈𝖿𝖿
✪ 𝖻𝗋𝗈 𝗐𝗁𝖺𝗍
𒊹︎ 𝗁𝖾𝗋 𝖾𝗒𝖾𝗌 𝗎𝗇𝗌𝖾𝗍𝗍𝗅𝖾 𝗆𝖾 𝗂𝖽𝗄
✪ 𝗁𝖾𝗋 𝖾𝗒𝖾𝗌 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗀𝗈𝗋𝗀𝖾𝗈𝗎𝗌 𝗐𝖽𝗒𝗆
𒊹︎ 𝗇𝖺𝗏𝗂𝖺 𝗂𝗌 𝗉𝖺𝗌𝗌𝖺𝖻𝗅𝖾 𝗍𝖻𝗁

I notice how the conversation is taking a turn that I'd rather not disclose, so I continue my quest. Eventually, I reach a part where Navia actually starts confronting Neuvillette while crying...

Now, this isn't nice of me to say, but I don't know why a woman in her age would decide to cry now over her father. Navia strikes me as a mature lady, but now it's obvious that she really doesn't ignore her emotions and feelings towards something that happened in the past. Personally, if my father died, I'd probably visit his grave once in my entire lifetime just so I can mess on his tombstone. I really don't understand these sensitive women...

Okay, maybe that's a lie.

I'm pretty confident when I say that I'm the most understanding person ever, especially when it comes to my loved ones. It's easy to just comprehend what people go through nowadays, especially when they all repeat the same mistakes and suffer of the same consequences. I've seen so many people who opened up to me quite fast, meaning how much they really need someone to talk to.

But I still can't help but feel nothing, even when trying to comfort someone I genuinely love. I always feel nothing, empty yet so overwhelmingly heavy. And it's not the best thing when you're aware that you try to seem like you care, when in fact you just hug someone so others won't blame you for apathy.

Even my apathy isn't something I can control. It's complicated, but to put it simply, I take pills that "mess" with the chemicals in my brain, and as a result my emotions are fucked up. I know how it must've felt when Neuvillette had to endure Navia blaming him for something he couldn't exactly handle.

Anyhow, I leave Genshin and open Discord, hoping to talk to Kio. However, once I enter the DM I see a message from her.

✪ 𝖼𝗁𝖾𝖼𝗄 𝗎𝗋 𝗀𝖾𝗇𝗌𝗁𝗂𝗇 𝗆𝗌𝗀𝗌

But instead, I kept talking about random things, noticing that Kio in online, yet not answering my texts. Just when I was about to ask about it for the 4th time, I realize that I haven't checked my Genshin messages. So, I have to go through all that again, and finally, I click the little icon.

ミ★