𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐌𝐞 || 𝟏𝟖+

𝐓𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲

I think this is it for me. This is where I die. Maybe I need to move back in with my parents so they can knock some sense into me. Why on earth was I going to kiss him? Why the fuck was I so excited? "V? snap out of it i'm talking here!" Parker and Val sat across from me on the floor, begging to get more information out of me from the night prior.

I invited Parker in hopes to deflect the conversation, but he's just as excited. "I can't believe this! I barely had to try to make him jealous, he wants you so bad V" I cant help but roll my eyes. I need some sort of answer as to what that was before it eats me alive, but I don't think I really want to know the truth. "I don't know what that was okay? he just came barging in, maybe it was the alcohol talking." lie, big lie.

Truth is, i'd do it sober. I cant stand him, I hate his mood swings and I hate when he tries to pursue me in anyway. He somehow manages to piss me off in every single conversation we have, but a small part of me still gravitates towards him. "Maybe you should yknow, talk to him" He's crazy, truly. Adonis isn't the type of guy you just go up to and say 'Hey, can we talk about that almost kiss? how did that make you feel? He's more of a deflect and forget kind of guy.

"I think that's the worst idea you've ever had" He only rolls his eyes at me, Val shakes her head in her hands. "V you are the most stubborn woman I know, when are you going to give it a rest." Val doesn't know much of the reason as to why I push so much. It took her so long to become friends with me. She never gave up on me throughout all of my efforts to keep her away, so i'm return, i'll never give up on her either.

I watch as her disappointed face slowly contorts into a mischievous grin. "Yknow Parker and I are going to grab food from the dining hall, do you want to come?" I narrow my eyes, scanning her face to find her lie. I can sense it, but I cant find it. "Can you bring me back a parfait?" Parker was out the door in lightning speed at the talk of going to get food, nor would he ever use his credits on me, so it was useless trying to ask him. "Sure!" she sped out after him, leaving me alone.

I sprawled out on my bed, face down on my pillow. My minds racing, my hearts racing, I cant fucking breathe. I hate this feeling, I hate being so easily overwhelmed. If there was a switch to make your mind quiet I would flip it and never turn it back on.

Rationally speaking, I want to stay away from mr brown eyes forever. My brain is screaming at me, and I know this will never have a good outcome, no matter how hard I try. I don't understand the concept of going in blind like Val. I don't know how she can let herself into someone else's life so easily. Honestly, it's all I've ever wanted. Yet, I can never seem to make it happen, i've never really sought out to try, though.

The sound of the door swinging open sends me flying up from my laying position. I'm seeing things. Im so deep in my train of thought that i'm envisioning this aren't I? I pinched my arm hard in hopes to make it go away, but there he was. Standing in the doorway with a parfait in hand. I knew Val was lying, I just fucking knew it.