Two broken souls in the midst of a crazy world. Two souls running away from their past. There was no light at the end of the tunnel. The tunnel was cracking, slowly closing in.
When these two connect, as if they were set on the same path, light cre...
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TW: mentions of abuse and EDs
It feels like yesterday that I met Adonis. Since our first official date, things have been better than I imagined. When I think back on the words I've said before, it hurts me to think that I could be so harsh to a man who genuinely loves me.
I don't understand the concept of a healthy relationship. Honestly, I don't understand any relationship. Andrew and I, well, I wasn't really in it. I like to think it was more of a situationship gone wrong. At least, that's what I tell myself.
Val has been so happy about our double dates, and honestly, so have I. I never thought her wishes would actually come true. She must have wished on a star hard enough to send him down into my life. I have to try that, maybe if I was hard enough on my birthday candles, it will stay like this forever.
My phone buzzing next to me pulls me out of my daydreaming. I answer without looking, something I've started to do lately. "Sweet pea? Are you busy?" My mother's voice lingers in the air as I try to keep my cool. She flaked on me, no surprise there, but it still hurt, nonetheless. "Hi, mom. Classes are done for the day, why?" My heart pounds against my ribcage as I anticipate another promise that will be filled.
"I'm in the area, do you want to come meet me? I'm sorry, really. I didn't mean to miss our girl's day." I let her sit in silence as I debated on my answer. Spend the day in bed wrapped up in my sheets, or go to lunch with the woman I haven't seen in years. I inhale as much air as my lungs can hold, thinking back to Adonis' story. "Sure." My brain can't comprehend what I've just agreed to, but it's too late.
"Wonderful! I'm at Starbucks down the road from you, when can you get here?" I swing my legs off the bed, forcing my body over to my closet, there's no backing out now. "I'll be there in fifteen minutes or so." I grab one of his sweaters in hopes that it will give me the comfort I so desperately need right now. "Okay sweet pea, I'll see you soon, love you!" My thumb hovers over the button to hang up, but before I even think about responding, she ends the call.
I take the stairs two at a time, half of me is eager to feel my mother's warmth, to embrace her in a huge I've only dreamt about, but the pounding in my ears is screaming at me to be the one to not show up this time. It feels like a trap, she's never just "been in the area" without telling me she was coming. I'm petrified. I don't want bad news, I've had enough bad news from them.
I fiddle with the keys in my hand, pressing the unlock button over and over. My car beeps back at me every time, taunting me as I near it. As the engine roars to life, I know this is my last chance to say fuck all and go back inside. I hate this. I should be excited to go see her. Maybe, I should've invited Val along. She has always been a good buffer between us.
