Okay this is basically Octonauts without twazii. If I didn't ship them, I'd headcanon that they argue heaps. So here is the Octonauts without twazii :)
Kwazii: How come I always have to clean the Gups?
Captain Barnacles: We had a roster, but there's a reason you're not allowed to help the Vegimals cook, help Shellington clean the lab or help Tweak fix the Gups anymore.
***
Dashi: The cocoa machine's broken again.
Tweak: Will Kwazii be jumping off the walls again?
Shellington: Can I live off no sleep and coffee?
Inkling: Do you want some herbal tea?
Peso: Are we going to die?
Captain Barnacles: Yes, no, no and yes.
***
Tweak: What are you writing Kwazii?
Kwazii: It said 'call me' and left a space, so I put 'call me the Most Awesome Pirate Cat to Ever Exist.'
Tweak: Kwazii, you were supposed to put your phone number there.
***
Shellington: what does this big red danger-sign button do?
Kwazii: Control z
Shellington: I took a wrong turn. I'd better-
Kwazii: ABANDON SHIP
***
Kwazii: How do you add a photo on this doc!?
Tweak (sarcastically): Drop a brick on it, smash the screen, slide a Polaroid photo in and glue the screen back together.
Kwazii: Dashi can I borrow your Polaroid?
Tweak: Oh crap he actually believed it
***
(Barrot sees Tweak eating a carrot)
Barrot: What are you eating?
Tweak: A carrot. Want one?
Barrot after trying a carrot: Why is my genetic material so CRUNCHY???
***
Kwazii: Would you forgive me if I did something bad?
Captain Barnacles: Yeah, I guess.
Kwazii: What if it was something really bad?
Captain Barnacles: Sure...
Kwazii: I mean something really really REALLY-
Captain Barnacles: KWAZII WHAT DID YOU DO
***
Kwazii: This artwork is ugly
Captain Barnacles: No it has character
Kwazii (later): Tweak, you've got character.
***
Peso: You're more useless than a mast cell crossed with an appendix!
Shellington: Well at least I can deal with parasitic worms like you! You're more annoying than an IgE antibody!
Dashi to Tweak: They're arguing in scientific terms so the Captain can't get them in trouble.
***
YOU ARE READING
Octonauts Oneshots
FanfictionThis is my first book, and it started when I gave Shellington anaphylaxis (extreme allergies). From there, I put the Octonauts through murder mystery parties, role reversals and a whole lot more. I'm a supporter of Dashton and Twazii, and I think Sh...
