Sincerely Yours, Marileigh

Chapter 1

“[ Love. It was just a vague word before I knew and found him. When he came into my life, he gave light to it and made me realize what truly it was.

Pero sapat ba na mahal mo siya para manatili ka sa tabi niya?

Kaya mo bang tiisin ang sakit dulot ng pagmamahal?

Nasasaktan tayo hindi dahil ito ay kagustuhan natin. Sometimes, it's because of those people we loved make us feel.

“Letting go is the hardest thing to do,” that's what Celine Dion said on her song called “I Love You Goodbye”. I would stood up on her claim. That's absolutely right as I felt the same when I left him back then.

I left him not because I fell out of love. I left him not because I found someone new. I left him because he already planned to leave me first. Truly, at that time, I was totally young, dumb, and broke. It was not just Khalid who have felt that way. High school din ako noong maramdaman ko ang sakit na 'yon. Everything started 4 years ago, November 30, 2019.

Alas tres palang ng umaga, ginising na ako ni mama dahil sa araw na 'yon ako babiyahe sa kabilang lungsod. Isa akong graduating senior high student na kumukuha ng Academic Track na GAS ang Strand. Ang major ko ay Caregiving. Major palang mapagmahal ni mapag-alaga na, paano pa kaya 'pag sa lalaking aking mapupusuan, 'di ba? Bukas na magsisimula ang Work Immersion namin kaya ngayong araw dapat nasa boarding house malapit sa cooperating industry kung saan ako magtatrabaho na ako tutuloy.

“Sige na, Mayeng. Pumasok kana sa nakaabang na bus, baka wala ka pang mauupuan kung magdadrama ka pa riyan,” sabi ni mama sabay abot ng maleta ko. I am happy and sad at the same time.

“Mamimiss kita, ma.”

I was trying to hold back my tears, but I just cannot control my emotion. Nagyakapan kami ni mama nang sobrang higpit. A month is too long for me not to miss my mother. As part of the requirements in graduating senior high school, I have no choice but to agree to this temporary set up.

“Basta magtext ka lang o magvideo call ka lang lage sa akin, anak. Mamimiss din kita,” kalmadong tugon niya sabay haplos sa'king likod.

“Sige na, baka aalis na ang bus.” Tumango ako at dahan-dahang dinala ang mga gamit.

“Ingat ka, anak,” rinig ko pang sigaw niya. Hindi na ako lumingon dahil alam kong  iiyak lang ako ng todo. Ang helper nung driver o ano bang tawag sa kanila 'konduktor'? Ito na ang naging bahala sa paglalagay ng maleta ko samantalang yung paper bags, binitbit ko lang.

Malapit sa bintana ako umupo. Nang sumilip ako roon, nakita ko pa si mama na nakatingin sa akin. She waved goodbye and I sighed deeply.

My mother means so much to me. I was raised by her alone. I had never met my father, but based on mama's story. My father is a German. He is not here with us because we're not his real family. Yes, my mother is a mistress, but she's not proud of it though. Hindi niya alam na married man na pala ang papa ko. He was one of the tourists my mother had accommodated and entertained in the park she was working before. My mother used to be a tour guide in one of Cebu's wonder tourist destinations. That's how she met Mr. George Wilton.

She had loved him so bad to the point that I existed . Of course, my father loves me too. If not, he wouldn't be concerned sa kalagayan ko. Hindi man ako nabigyan ng chance na makita siya pero alam ko na mabuti siyang ama. He used to transfer money to my mother for our everyday living. Pero natigil iyon nang bawian siya ng buhay. My father's legal wife happened to know my existence and she fulfilled one of daddy's last wishes—to give us enough money, especially for my education and health.

May mga half-siblings ako pero hindi ko sila kilala at maging sila siguro ganun din sa akin.

“Kanina ka pa?,” tanong agad ni Roselyn nang makita ako at tumabi siya sa'kin. Pilipino talaga 'to. Siya pa naman ang nagsuggest na ganitong oras kami babiyahe.