Potato

Potato time

Sean ran to his field of potatoes looking for the lucky, luscious, mashy, marriable, pretty, prestine, precious, delicious, delectable and deluxe potato he chooses every year.

There is a secret he holds however, (hehe) Sean gallops down to the field every week to pick one up that he procedes to shove up his plump bum for good luck. Once he had 10 up there as he really needed to luck and it felt really funny.

Anyway he was swimming through the field smelling each juicy tattie. As he swam and crawled and sprawled, he came on and slapped each potato. He knew they loved this so much each year. Therefore he came and slapped more than he ever had before. So sticky so ahhhhhhhhhh juicy and lovely.

As he went round each line of fresh produce he didn't notice the one tattie turn red. It was Jeremy the potato. He was angrier than ever. He was shaking from the anger. He hated the way Sean coated them in cream. He hated seeing a potato get shoved up his gorgeous vulumotuious pump bottom each week. And most of all he hated getting smacked. Every time it felt like it hurt because IT DID. IT HURT SO MUCH. Poor Jeremy. Fuck Jeremy.

So as he shook and got redder and redder and grew so tall he towered over every potato in the land. Sean saw the shadow of huge thing behind him. He turned to see Jeremy, THE HUGE TATTIE.

He farted, so happy to see his potato grow so big but Jeremy couldn't give a shit.

"I am the big TATTIE, a beast of the land, I hate you. You treat us badly and you're really mean." Jeremy screamed in a deep voice deeper than deep voiced people if u will. He had a mustache by the way.

Sean cried. "Well I'm sorry mashy boy I was only trying to make you feel precious."

"No."

All the planted little weak dump ugly shit fat potatoes jumped out the ground and acted Jeremy. Then Jeremy grew wings and flew away.

Sean shat on the floor. All the tiny potatoes squeaked, "pick me pick me."

Sean then picked one up, licked it, chomped into it then skipped away into the sunset.

~The end~