Pictures And Some Memories

Ten: A Change of Heart.

The day that followed the encounter I had with Zacky was one filled with me trying to distract myself in every way possible. Desperate to lose myself in something, I headed into town and found a few of the galleries I used to frequent as a teen and found myself feeling more conflicted as I explored the arts district. So much had changed and yet had also stayed the same since I left. A few new shops opened up, including a vintage clothing store, an organic smoothie stand, and of course, you can't have an arts district without an indie coffee place competing with the Starbucks down the block. I spent quite a bit of time in the vintage store, buying clothes that I knew would only weigh my suitcase down. Shame and guilt had once again accompanied me as I ambled on, but they almost felt as natural as the freckles on my skin. 

As I went into my favorite gallery, I felt as if I were betraying my teenage self as I observed the new showcase. I had always vowed to be loyal, to not treat anyone as I've been treated in past relationships, and now I was doing the opposite. I was confused about my feelings, about where I kept my loyalties, about everything. 

Deep in the chaos that controlled my mind, I was startled out of my daze when I realized I'd been stuck standing in front of painting featuring a female's hand reaching for a male's hand, only her fingertips had seemingly burned as she just barely touched the male's. I saw the price and immediately found the rep for the gallery to buy it, unable to let myself part with it, even if I had to ship it to the loft.

I wasn't sure why I liked it so much, though. Yes, it was hyper-realistic,  one of my favorite styles, but it wasn't necessarily avant-garde like many of the other pieces I gravitated toward. It was hard to describe, like those moments where you feel something in your heart that you can't quite place but ultimately know is right. That's how I felt every time I looked at this painting, and I honestly felt my excitement grow as I drove home to show Larkin before we headed to the rehearsal dinner later on.

"Is this something you did in high school?" He asked, only a few seconds after observing it.

"No, this is from my favorite local gallery," I replied, slightly offended. "Why do you ask?"

"I remember you telling me about your oil paint and human anatomy phase your senior year of high school and just assumed. It's a little immature, don't you think?"

"Not at all! There's so much symbolism hidden in plain sight and--"

"Are you really arguing with me on this? It's just some painting. Do you even know who painted it?"

"The artist prefers to remain anonymous," I replied quickly. "And yes, I am. Why is it you hate everything I love?"

"I don't hate everything you love. It's just that your taste in art could use some more maturity, sophistication."

With that, we let each other be. I knew that if I dignified that with a response, it'd lead to another fight and I had plenty to feel like shit over in the first place. Another argument with him would drive me over the edge.

Larkin sensed this, too, or at least sensed that another argument would be catastrophic for the time being. Instead of complaining about how long I took to get ready, he complimented me profusely before I drove us to the church, where he also kept his mouth shut when it came to his discomfort with my speeding. I couldn't tell you who was more relieved to have arrived, though, because as soon as I parked we both jumped out as fast as we could.

After we both admired the stained glass that was featured in the entry of the large sanctuary, he traded my arm for my hand and held it tightly, protective. I hadn't known why he had the sudden change in heart until I followed his not so secret glare to the cause of my inner turmoil to the altar, where he stood talking with Jimmy and Cara, grinning widely. Even though he was speaking to the two of them, his eyes held mine, filled with the same mischief that told me he'd definitely given our encounter some thought since it occurred the day before. My chest tightened. It was going to be a long night.