Everyday Pain

2. Mystery Dude...

So I guess it's quite clear how I deal with life. Not just me, but whoever that has been affected somehow lives like this every single day. It's all logic, really. The more someone has been stabbed, the more stubborn they get. The harder they fall only causes them to withstand more the next time life slaps them in the face. Some experience downfalls in their early years, some in their mid and some maybe even later onwards. After all, what is the meaning of success without struggle? Fantasy.

But hey! Not every one has a perfect disney fairy-tale. That's how everything is supposed to be. With every high, there has to be a low. After every night comes an even livelier day. You can't expect someone who has been put under so much stress, to be as soft and sweet as a marshmallow. Because, when it comes down to cruelty then we no longer have any other choice. Anyways, I could fill hundreds of pages just going on and on about the philosophies of life, but let's just get a move on.

The next day at High school..

Minding my own business, I was sat alone at a table for two in the dining hall. Not because I had no one to sit with. It was just that I really had a bad headache and I didn't want to talk to any one at all. To be honest, I wasn't really eating either. More over I just kept fiddling with my fork, nudging my cheesy macaronis here and there. I'm not really the best of company when I have a headache. I'm usually really frustrated and ready to tower over anyone who is annoying me, or reaching my 'limit'.

It wasn't long after that I heard a bunch of self obsessed miss popularities bunched up calling my name from across the dining hall. I wasn't so keen to respond and I never was because talking to them only meant digging yourself into trouble. My brain kept convincing me not to turn back but I had to. Unfortunately, it was sort of necessary to respond to their call or else the next new headline on our school's good-for-nothing blog would have been,"Miss popularities turned down like a diva by Jessica, the known", or something similar to that. Honestly, I didn't have much time to waste on unwanted idiotic drama. Therefore, I turned back with the fakest half grinning face.

"So, Jess! What's up?" Said Miranda in her squeaky, girly girl voice. Your nose, that's what.

Me and Miranda were never on good terms, like never. We knew each other from the first day of school. More than her personality, I absolutely cursed the way she dressed. Man, I couldn't even bear looking at her. She'd always bully people into thinking what they were wearing is hideous when in actual fact she just wanted them to stop wearing it, so she could wear something similar herself. Her hair was completely worn out because of all the products and heat she wrecked them with. Her face? Don't even get me started on that! I guess it is plenty to say that she just cakes whatever she finds in the morning and it shows.

"Just get to the point of why we're having this awkward yet useless discussion, okay? Unlike You lot, I have much better places to be at, you know?", said I with the same fake grin. I didn't really want to be rude but it was really necessary. 'Rude' was the only language she ever understood.

Miranda made a confused and embarrassed face. She was quite surprised, though, she shouldn't have been as it was coming from me. Her group started whispering something which I was clearly not interested in. They weren't used to being shown attitude that was worser than theirs. No one usually had the guts to talk back at them, but honestly, I guess I just really didn't care!

Miranda smiled, showing off her pearly white teeth that she had got polished through surgery. She didn't respond much and started to continue talking again after giggling an awkward giggle. "There's this guy.. This unbelievably handsome guy.. and he really likes you, like a lot! But sigh, poor little fellow, he hasn't got the guts to confront it to you yet. The whole school knows about how he feels." There was a moment of silence for a good minute. I was still gathering words to construct a solid comeback but She went on further saying, ''I bet he's just afraid of saying anything to you. Haha, you know you're not the easiest person to talk to'' she tried saying that less offensively but it was actually quite a pleasure to know this. Her dumbstruck friend, Savannah, kept nodding at what she was saying and unintentionally claimed that I looked pretty. Upon hearing this from Savannah, Miranda's eyes bulleted towards her and that was enough to shut her up.

This was not the first time I was receiving news about a new rumour. After listening to this crap, it was quite clear that she was just planning a stupid scam, that's all. Like some sort of prank to make fun of me or prove to the whole school that I'm not as tough as i claimed to be. "Okay here's the deal. I don't want to be a part of any of your dirty spoilers. I have a life and unlike you guys, I honestly can't care less as to whether some boy likes me or not. I have stronger, better, and a whole lot bolder aims in life rather than dumb old teenage love. So now I'd like to bid you and your little fib adieu", I exclaimed, capturing the attention of all the people that were around us. Spreading rumours about someone with a well maintained profile is something high schoolers loved to do. I never understood the fun in it, but most swore by it.

She was just about to stop me by grasping my arm but Gabriella, her friend, shook her head and nipped at her thigh from underneath the table in order to stop her bitchy friend. I simply stomped away taking giant and heavy steps, causing the water in my bottle to splash amongst the plastic walls, like waves crashing ashore all in one container. My heals clapped against the floor in sync with every step I took creating a very basic beat. I heard Gabriella say from a far in a faded voice "We'll contact her later, don't worry!" Her optimistic side was talking and I had no idea why. I then knew that I was going to have to listen to their crap all over again!

To be very honest, I never really quite understood the meaning of love. I had never been in love and I didn't expect people to "love" me either, quite frankly. I mean whoever I had seen fall in love, all had somehow ended up hurt, upset and broke. It was just too much pain in the back as far as I knew.  And how old was i to know any better? Seventeen, for crying out loud! I was too young to comprehend what is love and that was okay. I didnt need to know.

Therefore it is quite easy to judge that my point of view back then was, ''Every relation ends up with a very brutal break up. So why waste time developing those kind of feelings which will demolish with the passage of time anyway? The real sort of love we should have is with the ones we are married to and committed to forever. Because even if they do break you, they'll apologize anyway wanting their dinner.''

I already had a life that was way out of my control and you expected me to be hurt all over again? Nah. It just doesn't work that way.

That mystery dude had to be some shit sent down from the heavens to win me over. And we all knew that in every possible way, that was not possible.
Well, I don't know. Was it? Lets just stick to a 'no' for now.