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𝕋𝔼ℕ 𝕐𝔼𝔸ℝ𝕊 𝔸𝔾𝕆...
l/n y/n •
i still remember the first time i was scouted as a model. never did i think that my looks were befitting of a model. but, there i was, waiting for a modeling agency to sign a contract with me. it was odd when the scout tapped my shoulder - my walls were put up high. until i realized that there were no mischievous intentions behind the conversation. the man gave me a business card. i was mature enough so the decision was mine to make.
i decided to try it out - 'you only live once' i told myself. if i didn't like it, i would back out of it. my thoughts were screaming at me to turn away. however, i told myself that it will make me good money if it is successful, good money outside of being a jujutsu sorcerer.
there were a few people in the room that i was told to enter. an older woman did all the talking. her voice was smooth and confident - she was the epitome of experience and wisdom in the modeling industry. she took in every detail, her eyes never missing a beat. there was a pattern of how her eyes moved - hair, face, torso, legs. it felt discomforting having someone looking me up and down. but i had to get used to it if that's what a model went through.
she went through my documents and images while sparing me a few glances. i never took my eyes off her hands, flicking through the papers so elegantly. i almost believed that she could perform the most vile acts and still look as elegant as she currently did. she took her final glance at me before sliding a piece of paper across the table. i realized it was the contract. it took every ounce of my sanity not to lunge at the paper and sign it immediately. her assistant handed me a pen, i signed the contract.
that's how this life of mine started. a new era, a new chapter. some could say it was a blessing to be one. however, i would say otherwise. the industry is heavily toxic - always judging someone for their looks and constantly pointing fingers about weight and beauty. i hated it. the comments would get to me, although it didn't seem obvious. my manager would tell me to "stop hogging" whenever he saw me eating food. i remember shoving the whole bowl in his face before storming off. a lot of people had seen what i had done. it was a huge thing around social media. that's when i started to gain recognition. people wanted to see the rebel model, and i gave them a show.
i would walk my runways, full scars on display with no makeup on. it felt amazing, going against everything the industry stood for. it caused a lot of controversy but the public loved me. so many scouts had come to see what the rave was all about. my rebellion sparked up many once in a lifetime opportunities and i snatched them all with greed. anything to get me away from my misery.
i would be away for months at a time. my parents never cared where i was off to - nor did i care how they felt about it. the jujutsu community were also furious with me but i was too much of an asset to get rid of. i felt powerful knowing that so many people wanted me, needed me. so much to the point they had to make exceptions to keep me near. it inflated my ego to a monstrous amount. i took this to my advantage, being favored by both sides. i lived life like i was high. doing whatever i wanted knowing that there would be absolutely no consequences.
