Fire and Blood

Chapter 2: Aftermath awkwardness.

Lizbeth and Astarion have an awkward and regretful encounter the night before. Lizbeth is troubled by the possibility of turning into a mind flayer and asks Astarion to promise to kill her if it happens. Astarion, relieved that her concerns are unrelated to his bite, reluctantly agrees. Astarion pretends everything is normal. Lizbeth confided in Astarion about her fears, and he reassured her, promising to help. They decide to explore some nearby ruins for potential resources. Despite the dark conversation, they set aside their concerns and head out together.

....................

Lizbeth stood in the cabin momentarily until she thought he was far enough away not to hear her. She cursed herself quietly, "Ugh, I'm so stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid, he doesn't like you like that; no one does." The words of her abusive ex-partner came from her lips as her now internalized "truths." She sat down as her eyes watered and tried to compose herself before returning to her tent.

Astarion couldn't help but frown as he walked away, thinking about their encounter. Why did it always have to happen like this? Why can't I enjoy sex with a beautiful person like an ordinary being? He cursed Cazador internally for the years of abuse. He hated hurting her, physically or otherwise. Maybe I didn't deserve her kindness... No, that wasn't fair either.

Instead of returning to his tent, he wandered around the camp's perimeter, hoping to clear his head and maybe find some solitude. His steps were heavy with regret and frustration, unable to banish the image of her eyes blown with sincere affection and pleasure from his mind. How long had it been since someone looked at him like that? With a forced smile plastered on his face, he hummed a soft tune under his breath, trying to drown out the racing thoughts in his head.

Lizbeth went back to her tent and went over the details of the evening in her mind, such pleasure only I messed it up at the end asking about that bite, why did he bite me, and his teeth were sharp...She felt the answer was right before her but couldn't see what it meant.

Astarion continued his aimless walk, lost in his thoughts. The cool night air was a welcome respite from the turmoil inside him. How could he expect her to understand this...this damnable curse and his centuries of abuse? "Why me?" He muttered under his breath, kicking a stone on the ground with morose frustration, allowing himself a moment of self-pity.

Eventually, exhaustion caught up with him, and he decided it would be best to attempt his evening meditations. He had a sudden spontaneous idea and went to Lizbeth's tent instead of his own. Opening the flap to her tent, he hesitated briefly before entering, unsure how she might react to him. Then, he closed the tent flap behind him.

"Oh!" Lizbeth was startled that he had come to her tent. "I thought... never mind. Did you want something?" she asked, not daring to hope he had come for a cuddle.

Astarion hesitated, torn between staying and leaving. Finally, he decided not to risk it. "No... uh, no, I didn't." He cleared his throat awkwardly. "I... umm... yeah, sorry, goodnight." His guard was down momentarily, and Lizbeth saw a scared and unsure man instead of a carefully curated façade.

With that said, he turned and moved towards his tent, attempting a casual stride despite his heart pounding in his chest. Closing his zipper behind him, he collapsed on his bed roll, tossing and turning restlessly until dawn crept up upon the horizon.

Lizbeth woke after a restless sleep, feeling worn down and sore from the prior evening's activities. She dismissed it as not sleeping well and being out of practice with sex, but that didn't feel quite right. She dressed in her robes for the day and set out for the fire to make some coffee.