Call It Freedom

Chapter 5 - To Find My One in a Million

Author's Note: Crosshair has Feels about what Hunter's like now. Also, Hunter has a panic attack/flashback. ;-; This is a hard chapter for all of them. Take care of yourselves, y'all!

~ Amina Gila

There is something so... broken about Hunter now. His eyes are haunted, and he's burdened by things that Crosshair can't even imagine. He doesn't know that he wants to imagine it, either, not based off the little that Hunter finally shared with them.

"We lost you."

There was grief in those words, reflected in the dark brown eyes staring at him. Grief, anger, and pain. And there was some fear too, a thread of uncertainty and wariness that Hunter is carrying with him constantly. He's so tense, and Crosshair isn't sure if he's fully relaxed even once since he woke up with these memories. It's as though he's one step away from a complete mental breakdown. What happened?

"We lost you."

The words echo in his mind, over and over, and Crosshair isn't naïve enough to think that Hunter means he died. No, it was much worse than that. He was taken from them, wasn't he? Turned against them, forced to fight them. He sucks in a shaky breath as he stares down at his tray in the cafeteria, ignoring the chatter of his brothers around him. What did he do to them? To Hunter? Hunter has always been the level-headed one, never showing fear or pain or – or anything. What could have happened to change him so much, to make him show emotions so visibly?

"It wasn't his fault."

Yes, probably not, if what Tech and Hunter have told them about these inhibitor chips is accurate, but that doesn't mean Crosshair doesn't still feel a pit of guilt inside him, at the knowledge that it might have been him who brought Hunter to this level.

And, of course, there's the mystery of Omega. It's obvious that she means a lot to Hunter and that she's as important to him as any of his brothers. Crosshair's more than a little curious about that, given that, other than Echo, they've never become exceptionally close with anyone.

"An Imperial's been sent to evaluate the clones," Hunter tells them, setting down his tray of food and sliding onto the bench next to Crosshair, bumping their shoulders together lightly. "Everybody's talking about it." He nods to the rest of the regs in the cafeteria. Hm. Well, that probably explains all the conversations; it seems louder in here than normal. "It's Tarkin," he adds, lowering his voice.

On the other side of the bench, Echo stiffens.

"Tarkin?" Crosshair clarifies, "From the Citadel? When Echo..."

"Blew up," Wrecker supplies cheerfully when Crosshair trails off.

"Yes," Hunter confirms.

Echo makes a face. "That's just great," he mutters. "He's not a big supporter of clones."

Hunter glances at him and nods. "I know. We need to be careful. No causing scenes." He gives Wrecker a pointed look, and Crosshair smirks, looking back at his tray to keep eating. But still, the raw, aching, emptiness inside of him remains. He's far too aware of Hunter's words, of what it could mean for him, for all of them.

"Can it really control us?"

"Yes."

"We lost you."

"It wasn't his fault."

The knowledge that he could be turned against his brothers, so easily, makes his skin crawl, but he trusts Hunter to choose the best path for them. Hunter must have a good plan for how to avoid that happening. Hunter will figure it out, as he always does, and he's the only one of them who actually has knowledge of the future. Crosshair might not like the waiting, not about this, but he trusts Hunter. He always has, always will.