Liability [Simon Ghost Riley]

holding on, and letting go

The days that followed her departure cast a heavy shadow over Simon's life, immersing him in a profound sense of darkness and solitude. Grief clung to him like a relentless specter, as he found himself entangled in a web of guilt and regret, endlessly replaying countless scenarios of "what ifs" in his tormented mind. With each passing hour, the pit in his stomach deepened, becoming an ever-heavier burden. Despite the overwhelming ache of missing her, Simon recognized, with a heavy heart, the necessity of letting her go and allowing her the space to grieve.

Time passed slowly. One day turned into two, the next thing he knew it had been months. She had escaped a life that no longer suited her, and Simon was determined in ensuring she had the chance to embrace the existence she truly deserved. From the moment she departed, he had committed to being the steadfast force that would not beckon her back into the tumultuous world they once shared. It was an act of protection, driven by the deep understanding that her well-being required distance.

Simon's initial encounter with her on the military base had been a clash of emotions. Clouded by anger and skepticism, he had rejected her presence. However, her undeniable beauty and unwavering confidence caught him off guard, planting the seeds of an unexpected connection. Slowly, he recognized the resonance between them—the two sides of a shared coin. Her warmth, bright smile, and unyielding personality were irresistible, revealing a woman who demanded respect and kindness, traits not bestowed upon just anyone.

As their connection deepened, the journey became a mix of exhilaration and trepidation. Reveling in the moments spent together, even during the inevitable arguments, Simon found himself grappling with the fear and uncertainty of an unpredictable future. The realization that their union put her at risk haunted him, and the desire to savor every moment with her clashed with the dread of potential consequences. Memories of past vulnerabilities and the instinct to protect her at any cost led him to a heartbreaking decision—cutting her off completely.

In the solitude of his nights, Simon paced back and forth, his mind swirling with memories. The pile of unsent letters, a silent testimony to unspoken emotions, loomed over him. An overwhelming sense of emptiness filled his lungs, and the specter of his family's tragedy cast a haunting shadow over his fears for her safety. Tormented by nightmares, he grappled with the haunting possibility that she, too, might face a similar fate.

Three months after her departure, Simon summoned the courage to pick up the phone, tears betraying the emotions he had fought to contain. As he waited for the call to connect, his trembling fingers mirrored the racing beat of his heart. When her voice finally reached his ears after a prolonged absence, a torrent of emotions overwhelmed him. Yet, he steeled himself, determined to maintain the necessary distance. It was a heartbreaking act of self-discipline, driven by the belief that he was not meant for the complexities of loving relationships.

The moment the call ended, Simon buried his face in his hands, grappling with the emotional storm within. Deep breaths, attempts to slow his racing heartbeat, and a physical retreat to the corner of his room marked his struggle for control. Every fiber of his being yearned to reach out to her again, but the knowledge that he couldn't kept him isolated in a room charged with emotional turmoil.

Night after night, he wrestled with anxiety and grief, seeking solace in a fitful sleep. Sweet dreams of a life together taunted him, only to dissolve upon waking into the cold reality of their separation. The pain intensified, fueled by the realization of what might have been.

Watching the woman he loved move on without him became one of the most agonizing experiences for Simon. Updates from mutual acquaintances provided bittersweet glimpses into her life, with every detail amplifying the longing within him. In a moment of vulnerability, he chose to lie to close friends, painting a facade of moving on and finding happiness elsewhere. It was a defense mechanism, though deep down, he clung to the hope that their paths might converge again.

Immersing himself in work became Simon's refuge, a conscious effort to relegate his emotions to the background. The demands of the job provided a necessary distraction, a way to silence the constant ache of her absence. As days turned into weeks, he grappled with the acceptance that their paths were likely irrevocably diverged.

In a renewed surge of determination, Simon focused on what he deemed his forte—being Ghost. The intensity of the work consumed him, gradually dimming the thought of her in his mind. Buried in tasks, he reverted to the silent and ruthless operator, a coping mechanism to shield himself from the persistent yearning for a love lost. It was a cold existence, but at least it spared him the constant pain of her absence.