Dark Blue

6.5.

Soe

" Can't seem to tell what we are doing huh?" A random voice appeared at the shadows.

"Of course she doesn't, she's clueless it's right in her face." A female random voice came.

"She would know when we are finished with her." A baritone voice appeared, almost shuddering me.

"Who are you people?"

"Who, is? You know who we're are. Use your head." As a random head fell on my head and it was Rome's head. I screeched out.

"Noooooooooo!!!"

I woke up in a cold sweat yelling no. As I knew it was a dream, it was so real and frightening. I looked around to see that it was the weekend my father was off and my mom works at the hospital. My mother owns a vet hospital and my dad is a lawyer, so even though he is off, he's not really off from work. I want a more flexible work schedule when I get married. I also an only child at the house since my sister is off at college... so I guess it's a really lonely time for me. It was 6:34 am and I just got on Instagram.

Something in me told me to go to Will's Instagram. He deleted our shit and I still have yet to do it. I proceeded to my page deleted it all and keeping one picture of mine. Me on a sunny day smiling with faux locs on my hair. It was a pain to take that shit out of my hair, next time I would actually loc my hair.

I went to Rome's page. I seen a picture of him shirtless with them rap verses as a caption. I don't really know much of rap unless it's a mainstream song because I'm a neo soul babe. He was so ripped, idk how he gotten so buff. His physic definitely enhanced his looks as he always seemed cute to me, but now he fine. It's weird seeing a childhood friend become good looking.

I continue to look at some more pictures. His skin tone was chocolate and that's usually not my type. Nothing wrong with it but when you are raised with a light skin mom and you come out not light skin, it definitely fucks with your psyche. I remember my mom saying left shit about Rome being perfect for me as a kid, if he wasn't too dark. I told her but daddy has dark skin. She didn't say anything afterwards and from what I know, never again.

My development was drastic as well. I was this brown skin little girl. My mom always loved how light and a great combination of my parents' skin tone. She wanted me to kept and
pristine, but I had a different outlook at life. I was a sports lover, but still a girly girl. I tried out for some sports and my features vastly developed. I came from an A cup to a D cup in a year. My ass has been growing bigger ever since I changed the way I ate and got into track. I was determined to be more than just a kept girl.

I wanted to tap into my bohemian vibes. I put on some Lauryn Hill music as I pre-pooed my hair. I took my wig off last night and now I'm using shampoo to take down my 2 month cornrows. Doing this method helps retains length because since I do my own hair all the time. It was at ear length and now it's passed my shoulder. I feel it would be longer and thicker if my mom loved it as much as I did. Unlearning things as you grow up is difficult, but you do it because what you were previously learning from someone else's ignorance.

I went to wash my hair and my body taking the stress of everything I've been going through the last 2 months. The blackmailing, breaking up with the one guy I love turn into someone I despise. It's been a true dissociation. After I got out the shower, I placed a leave in conditioner on my hair and decided to leave it in this big Afro for the weekend. We live in the west coast, so there's a crisp weather here. It was a nice December Saturday morning where you cuddle in and snuggle up to someone while eating cereal and watching cartoons. That's the type of stuff me and Will did. I tried to remember it but now, I gotta new set of eyes to see that those memories weren't even good anyway.