The Rozovsky Heirs 13: Aletheia Hartmere Rozovsky (The Princess' Downfall)

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Eleven

Loss

At that time I thought that Max was the only person I could trust, yet again...

Sa kaniya ko lang nasabi ang kalagayan ko. I had no friends to talk about my condition, and I also didn't want to disappoint my parents...

I was young and weak... At pinangunahan pa ako ng takot ko.

And I needed support while I was going through my pregnancy. Because it wasn't easy and it was just my first time.

I thought that I didn't know what to do without Max.

And he offered me his help, too. And I accepted it.

"What's your plan, Ali?" Max asked me.

Tumingin ako sa kaniya.

"Haven't you thought of abortion?" He added.

At agad naman akong nagalit sa kaniya sa sinabi niya ngayon sa akin. Because although I was scared I never thought of harming my child in any way.

Agad din naman siyang nag-sorry sa akin. And since then he became more sensitive towards me with his thoughts and actions.

"I'm sorry, Ali."

Unti-unti naman akong tumango when he apologized to me and I've calmed down. Utang ko pa rin sa kaniya ngayon ang pagtulong niya sa akin.

I stayed with Max in Switzerland while I was pregnant. It's not really that far away from Germany, pero tingin ko ay okay na rin dito. As long as I was not directly just in Germany while I was hiding my pregnancy.

At halos hindi rin naman ako lumalabas sa bahay kung saan kami nag-stay ni Max. And of course I stay in different rooms from him. Kahit naging okay na kaming muli, I can only offer him friendship again. And I'm glad that he's helped me.

And day by day Max was with me and he witnessed how my stomach started to stretch and the life that was forming inside me continued to grow...

As a hobby I also learned to make knitted socks for my child. I just searched for it online and watched some videos of how to do it in YouTube. Kasi wala rin naman akong halos ginagawa kaya naisipan kong gumawa na lang ng something para sa anak ko. And I want it made with my own hands.

And I already learned to love the life that was still growing inside me. Ngayon pa lang pakiramdam ko na mahal na mahal ko na ang anak ko kahit hindi pa man siya pinapanganak dito sa mundo.

"I'm excited to meet you, little one." I whispered gently while I was carefully caressing my growing belly.

Although I was still uncertain of what to do next after this, but I was certain that I would take care of my child. And I also plan to tell this to my family eventually. Huwag lang muna siguro sa ngayon...

While my parents only knew that I was currently on vacation, and they also didn't know that I was with Max. I told them that I wanted to travel alone. And at first Dad was still hesitant but because of Mom he's allowed me nevertheless. And my brothers were also busy with their own things and lives at this time.

Tiningnan ko si Max pagkatapos niya lang sumagot ng isang tawag.

"You can go back, Max." I told him. "I'll be fine here." I reassured him.

There were times when he also needed to go back to Germany or go to other countries as well because of their family's business. May maayos na business naman sina Max na legal. But I guess just like what my Dad said that Max's family was also doing some things illegal...

Pero hindi rin alam ng parents ni Max na magkasama kami ngayon. He didn't want them involved in us now anymore. And I'm grateful to that. Dahil hindi pa rin talaga ako okay sa family niya.

"Are you sure you'll be fine alone here, Ali?" Lumapit siya sa akin.

Tumango naman ako sa kaniya. "Of course, Max. Don't worry about me." I said.

At hindi naman talaga ako mag-isa sa bahay dahil may helper din kami na gumagawa ng mga gawaing bahay that Max hired for us.

He was still looking at me, though. "You know, I've been thinking that maybe... maybe we could just tell your parents about this, Ali. About your pregnancy... And if you want, we can just also tell them that I'm the father of your child..." Max said.

Nagkatinginan kaming dalawa. Pagkatapos ay umiling naman ako sa kaniya. "We can't do that, Max..." I said.

And although he's willing to do it for me, I just don't think it's the right thing to do...

Then he sighed, and just gave it up.

"Opo. Just tell Dad that I'm not coming back just yet. Thank you, Mommy." I said over the phone. Minsan ay nakakausap ko rin ang pamilya ko sa mga tawag.

"Don't worry about it, hija. Ako na ang bahala sa Daddy mo. Just enjoy your long vacation, okay?"

"Yes, Mom. Thank you, po."

"All right."

And then we hang up the phone.

I sighed a bit after talking to my mom.

And after a few more months had passed, I was already about to give birth. Hindi na kami nakapunta pa sa hospital and Max just let me give birth in his house in Switzerland with the help of a doctor he knows.

And it was so painful giving birth. Ganito pala kasakit manganak. I knew that it was painful to give birth based on what other people said. But I just didn't know that it would be this painful that I almost fainted while giving birth.

The doctor and her nurse assistant was instructing me on what to do. At sumusunod lang naman ako sa sinasabi nila sa akin.

And then I finally heard the first cry of my baby, before I fell unconscious after giving birth...

But when I woke up, I instead saw a dead baby that Max and the doctor had showed to me.

My eyes widened so much. Pagkatapos ay sunudsunod akong umiling. At ayaw kong tanggapin ang bangkay na lang ng bata na pinakita nila sa akin. I was shaking my head in shock and I cried so much. I cried so hard, and cried painfully.

"No! No, Max! I don't believe this! I even heard her cry!" I said. Because I remember that I heard my baby cried before I passed out.

Malungkot naman akong tiningnan ni Max at umiling siya. "I'm sorry, Ali..."

Nanlaki muli ang mga mata ko habang nakatingin ako sa kaniya. "No..." I don't believe this!

Max embraced me and he tried to comfort me. And I cried loudly on his chest.

No. I don't believe this happened to me... I won't believe...

And I cried more and more because of my loss and grief...

In the end, wala akong ibang pinakasinisi sa nangyaring pagkawala ng anak ko kung hindi si Elias.

Inisip ko na kasalanan naman niya talaga. If only he didn't abandon me and our child...

I was crying so painfully while the anger in my heart was growing more and more for Elias Alexander Ybañez. Kinamumuhian ko na siya...

And I can only blame him for what happened...

Sobrang sakit ng nangyari sa akin. Ang sakit sakit.

Sana ay namatay na lang din ako kasama ng anak ko...