A Little Death

XI

'DO NOT TOUCH MY MY LITTLE PONY FIGURINES'

'AAJENWFWFJNGBEWUÆ LET ME GOOO'

'I will not be doing that, Skye.'

'AADNJWFNW I'LL BITE YOU JOSHUA'

Where's Kris when I need her? She could handle her best friend better than I could.

'I need to call Kris.'

'No, don't call her.'

'Why?'

'I'm mad at her right now.'

I sigh. 'Alright let's go.'

I pick Skye up as she resists and throws her arms and legs at me.

On the short trip to the bedroom, she somehow managed to crawl all over my body and place herself so that her legs were on my shoulders.

I try to throw her at the bed, but she hangs on me like a baby monkey.

'Skye, I can either put you down peacefully, or throw you out the open window.'

She gets off me and sits on the bed. 'Ok, but sit with me.' She scoots to the side and I sit next to her. She sits on me, facing me. 

'Skye-'

'You're a really hot man, you know.'

'And you're a really drunk woman.'

'No, I only had one bottle-'

'You get THIS drunk off of one bottle?'

'Mm, shut up Joshua... You have a funny name, you know. josh-OOAA. JAUSHOOAA. You need a nickname. Something shorter that doesn't have so many syllables.'

'Josh?' I suggest.

'No, you don't look like a Josh. You look like a Joshua.'

'Well spotted.' I reply, smiling.

She laughs. 'What about, uh-' she bites her nails, 'What about Jay?'

'Like the letter J?'

'No, like G-A-Y, Jay.'

'That's gay.'

'No, I'm straight.'

'No, you spelled gay.'

'No I spelled Jay. J-A-Y.'

'You said G before.'

'Gee?'

'Are you stupid?'

'No, you are.'

She holds my face, 'YOU-' she points at me, 'are a DUMBFUCK.'

'What did I say about being polite?'

'but you have the biggest fucking muscles and biceps and triceps and abs and calves and goddamn you're built like an athlete.'

'I know.' I gleam with pride.

'But you're the biggest fucking moron ever. You're so stupid.'

'Again, what did I say about attitude?'

'Oh, what are you gonna do? Fuck me? Because you know what? LETS SEE YOU TRY. BUT I'LL FIGHT AND I'LL FIGHT AND YOUR BALLS WILL FALL OFF.'

'I WILL fuck you, but not right now, maybe in the morning.'

'Why not now?'

'Because you're a drunk girl and it's not fun when you don't act like you hate it but you love it. And as much as I'd like to fuck you while you're struggling to keep me off of you, it's not fun if you won't remember it. I love your pain.'