what is love * Four X Reader X Eric

weed

As I left the training room, I was still fuming with anger, and I knew that only one thing could calm me down
Weed
So i made my way to the shop while still being covered in blood, erning me some weird or worried stairs, but i was too angry to care . I went in and threatened the girl who sells the drugs with a knife as she didn't want to sell me as i was still in training, but soon enough, she sold it to me, and i made my way to bridge

As I got there, I leaned over it and opened the drugs, rolling it in and licking it to close the roll , lightning it up and putting it in my mouth

I always used  weed as a way to escape from everything i mean I've been doing it for almost 6 years it just makes me forget all the shitty things and just focus on enjoying the high felling that you get from it and I knew it was bad for me but I didn't care I mean what more could i lose .

**************

I remember the day my mother locked me and my brother matheo in the cells,which was 11 years ago, and after that day, everything changed,
we started off with simple training, and when I say simple, I mean what we are learning now from jogging every day , gun shooting, and physical fights , knife throwing although my mother didn't think it was that important so we didn't practice it as much
I've been training like that ever since I was 7
I was a natural at it, everything came easily to me ,but that wasn't the case for my brother ,he used to struggle a lot , and I would try to help him but he was just not made for this , And that frustrated my mother, so in order to get him to try harder, she made a rule
that every time one of us failed, we both would get a beating and stay without food .
so my brother always felt guilty for putting me in pain and always pushed himself harder, and in the end, he got the hang of it. Of course, I was still better, but still

The years passed, but  everything got even worse. I remember that day in detail
It started out like any normal training day.
My brother and I woke up, did the morning jogging , we fought against each other even though we usually fought against other people, but from time to time, my mother would force us to fight against each other, and I hated every second of it

Then we started gun shooting training, and we thought it was going to be like every other day, but when we entered the room, there were no targets or pupets, so 10 year old matheo and I stode it the training room with guns in our hands ,waiting for mum to bring the targets ,but she never did .
Instead, she entered the room with two gaurdes behind her, each of them holding a man that was blinded folded

"These will be your targets for today,"

She said so coldly and unbothered

" What do you mean you don't expect us to shoot at them, do you?"

Matheo said in his soft, scared, shaking voice, but he soon regretted it

" Silence, you stupid child, you will so as I say."

My mom said to matheo angerly as she made a cut in his face on his nose bridge, but matheo stayed silent he knew better than to talk back to her

" Come on, what are you waiting for? , shoot their heads."

My mother said, but neither my or matheo made a move

" Okay, I will make this easier. Either you shoot them, or I shoot you. "

My mother's word caught me of gaurd. I mean, she was bluffing she had to be right ? She loves us, or she will start loving us. we train every day in order to win her love and approval, but she does love us she wouldn't kill us. Would she

I decided to just do it. Maybe then Mommy would be proud of me
So I just closed my eyes and shot the man right between his eyes, and I heard a load thud of his body falling to the ground. I remember I wanted to cry so badly , but I held in

" Good job, my dear marcela, you did well . Now it's your turn, matheo. "

My brother raised his gun up with shaky hand, aiming at the man in front of him
As he sucked in a sharp breath, I closed my eyes, not wanting to witness it. i waited for the loud voice, but it never came as I opened my eyes again. I saw matheos gun on the floor while he was shaking and crying

" I can't. I can't do it. I can't kill him. I just can't. "

matheo told my mom in between sobs

" You useless piece of shit I said either you kill him or be killed what part of that did you not understand "

My mother said to my brother before cutting him again on his cheek

" I'll give you one last chance shoot him,
or I'll kill you right now ."

After my mother said that matheo got the gun of the ground and stode up again and aimed the gun at the blind folded guy who was shaking with fear
I saw the look of hesitation on matheos face. Then he threw the gun at the ground harder, this time causing it to break

" I won't kill him. What kind of mother forces her children to kill people? I can't do it. "

After my brother finished yelling at my mother, she just started laughing, and I knew it was bad

In seconds, she had matheo on his knees with a gun to his head, and I knew that I shouldn't talk to Mommy without permission, but I just couldn't stop and watch

" no no s_ stop, I'll do it. I'll_ I'll kill his guy. I'll kill for him j_ just don't kill matheo he's the only thing I have p _ please "

I told my mom as I stuttered as I was shaking with fear

" You stupid, stupid girl, how many times did I tell you not to speak to me without permission ? But your rudness ends today, and you will learn how to respect me ."

My mother said as she handed me the gun and told her gaurdes to let the blind folded guy free , and I knew I had messed up

" Since you want to kill so bad, come on, you can kill matheo . "

" What do you mean ?"

"YOU KILL HIM NOW YOU BITCH OR YOU BOTH DIE DO YOU UNDERSTAND "

my mother yeld at my so loud that I started crying

" it okay marcela do it please don't die for my "

Matheo said as he positioned my shaking hand that has the gun in it on his head and nodded at me

" no no I won't do it "

" marcela please I don't want you to die for me please "

I didn't know what to do I panicked and then I closed my eyes and clicked .

****************

After that day I started smoking weed I was 10 when I first tried it and now when ever I need to calm down I do it
And I needed it right now as I have just lost control and almost beat a stupid girl to death and punched eric and exposed my self for the leader

And insted of trying to apologise I was just leaning against this stupid bridge smoking weed

"Need some company ?"

An unfamiliar soft voice got me out of my deep thinking as I turned around it was ........