Damsel in Control (18+ Only) - The Rogue Pack

Chapter 24

"Can I be completely honest with you, Reyna?" Saul is sitting on the edge of one of the many water fountains of the city. His feet dangle dangerously close to the water as he leaning back on the ledge, sunning himself in the glorious day that we are having. There's something graceful, almost dancer-like about his position and the sun is hitting his hair just right, making the dark strands shine. I pull my fingers into a fist, resisting the urge to run my fingers through his glorious locks. They fall in soft waves over his face, thick and luscious. His closed eyes accentuate the length of his eyelashes as they softly brush across his cheeks.

"I've never met anyone like you." His eyes flutter open, catching me red handed in my quite blatant observation of his features. Yet with the look he gives me, I find that I don't feel the least bit embarrassed.

"In what way?" I speak softly, almost in a whisper, worried that I may break the magical spell of the moment. His eyes stay open as he responds. Although whether he's responding to my question or to the look in my gaze I can't be sure.

"I've never met someone who matches my energy. Someone in whom I think, or at least I hope, I can see parts of myself. And, honestly, it's refreshing to meet a wolf who doesn't think I'm awful, someone who doesn't shy away from me." I frown in confusion. What does he mean, why would I shy away from him? Unless there's something about him I should know... But nothing he's ever done with me would suggest that he's untrustworthy. A sensible voice in my head chimes up, reminding me that this may all be a disguise, but my gut tells me that I can trust him, and I push that little voice down.

There's a vulnerability in his eyes that I can't ignore. A fear that resides deep in his heart despite his trust in me, suggesting that he's desperate to contact, to make friends, but that his desire is also tinged with uncertainty. As if there is a doubt that one day I may turn away from this connection. I reach out to rest my hand on his knee, hoping the touch is comforting. That little voice of doubt trying to pipe up in my head again.

"I'm glad you feel that way. And I can promise that I will always be honest with you." I choose not to say more, only giving him what I know I can, that little voice bringing up an automatic guard around my heart in case I'm wrong, despite my attempts to quash it. A little bit of self-protection left over from my heartbreak with Rodrigo. Yet I say the words anyway. Looking into this man's eyes, a man I admittedly know very little about, I feel the need to reassure him that he can be vulnerable around me.

You want him to be vulnerable around you. Aida is right. I want him to, because that would mean that I'm someone important to him. I feel a desperate need to be close to this man that I can't quite explain. It's like a hidden connection. If I didn't know any better I would say it's a mating bond, but it doesn't have that undercurrent of sexual desire that I would have expected. It's more a desperate need for us to be friends. A need to be vulnerable with him, just as he wishes to be with me, a way to form a connection that my soul desperately needs. Knowing that someone trusts me to the point they can reveal their true selves... it is such a gift. And it would finally make me feel sightly more worthy again. Make me feel like I can trust again.

Then I remember Alice. I have never had this same response with her. This desire to be friends. I loved spending time with her. Enjoyed our friendship, even though it was still vaguely in the colleague stage. But the feeling I'd had during our evening together, my desire. It had not been to become better friends, it had been more than that. It had been a physical desire that only now am I able to recognise, having felt the opposite desire for Saul.

I gasp as something clicks into my place, my confusion easing slightly.

You fancy Alice. Shit, Maria was right.

And the fact that I don't feel the same way about Saul. That my only desire here is to form some sort of meaningful connection with someone who I can trust and who might even understand. For some reason I feel that with Saul.