Can't Let You Go

Chapter 51

***LIAM***

Six years and a few months ago was the last time I spoke to my father.

"Has your mother told you?" he asked me over the phone.

"I'm guessing not since I don't know what you mean."

"You're a fully grown man now. You've got a bachelor's degree and are in grad school. You can make your own decisions. I'm giving you my permission as your father to do that."

"Of course I make my own decisions. I don't need your permission for that."

"I'm glad you see it that way. I've been afraid that I'd wronged you. From the time you were a child, your mother and I have been forcing you onto the path that leads to being an executive at Hazen Holdings, even though you started resisting years ago. I thought that was how it had to be. I was so grateful to your grandfather for taking me in after my family lost everything, so I thought I owed it to the Hazens. I thought I owed you to them. It's only since you picked your major in college that I've begun to see it differently. I'm sorry."

"Thanks, I guess? I don't understand where you're going with this."

"Last night, I finally got your mother to sign divorce papers."

I scoffed, not in disgust or disbelief, but in the suddenness of the news. "I didn't know you guys had been talking about it. That's partly because I rarely see you talk, so I guess this isn't surprising."

"In the last year or two, I finally faced myself. Who I'd been pretending to be and who I really was. I denied myself for so long, but I found the strength to go after what I want." He paused.

"But it's not in Alaris. I'm leaving today. I know I'm taking a coward's way out by telling you over the phone, but I'm still learning to be my own man and I couldn't face you knowing I'd been raising you to deny yourself the way I had. I'm glad you're stronger than me. You get that from your mother's side. I'm taking a trip and I'll be out of contact for a while. I wanted to let you know."

"Where are you going?"

"I'm not exactly sure where I'll land or when I'll get there, but when I figure out who I am, I'll let you know."

"So, you're leaving, leaving? Just like that? 'Goodbye Son, have a nice life. Maybe I'll see you around someday' and poof you're gone?"

"I know, this is a shitty way of doing it. I'm sorry, but it's the best I could do for both of us."

"Dad, you--"

"I'm sorry William. I love you. I always have."

He hung up the phone before I could respond. Prior to that call, I hadn't seen or spoken to him since the Thanksgiving before he disappeared. I'd made a scene with my friend playing the role of "unacceptable girlfriend" and argued with my mother. We were never an affectionate crew, but I'd stormed out without even saying goodbye. At least on December twentieth, I got to hear those words from him.

After the holidays I confronted the Dragon Lady. "Mother, please just tell me what you know."

"I won't say a further word, I've washed my hands of that man. After what he– He left something for you on his desk."

It was the power of attorney he assigned to me granting access and control over any financial accounts or holdings in his name. Hoping he'd left a diary or letter to me, I searched his office top to bottom. It looked tidy, but Dad had stashed documents and receipts all over. From healthcare to home maintenance, there was some of everything. Even two copies of an appraisal for the diamond brooch he'd had made as a 25th anniversary gift for my mother the year before.