Can't Let You Go

Chapter 16

***LIAM***

Although no one I've met in Korea knows this, my birthday is less than a week after Tally's. Now that I'm beyond my mother's grasp, I want to keep it low key. When I was young, she threw parties that were way overboard and tightly controlled the guest list. Being financially dependent all through college, I couldn't opt out of the stale cocktail events the parties had morphed into as I aged. In fact, I was required to attend even more parties. But, since she no longer had ultimate reign on who my friends were, I'd bring a date purposely chosen to piss her off. Brash, flashy, party girls.

Even though I always made it clear I didn't want anything serious yet also wasn't looking to have one-night-stands, I didn't realize what an asshole I had been until later. Still, as bad as it was, it was still an improvement over my high school behavior. I would have rather not dated anyone than be forced to go out with girls from approved families. However, after my mother figured out my tricks, avoiding those dates became impossible.

With my parents' credit card in hand, we'd be sent off to "fun" or "romantic" places with an enforcer in the form of a driver. I repaid my parents' "generosity" by taking every opportunity I had to have loud sex with my nominal girlfriends at home. My mother actually walked in on me moments after I finished losing my virginity. I had left the door unlocked on purpose knowing she never knocks.

It was straight up dick behavior, but it's not like I coerced them into doing something they didn't want to do. I just lied that either we were alone in the house or that my bedroom was soundproofed and encouraged them to moan and yell along with me. Living a horny teen boy's porn inspired dreams was a hollow existence, but I was too young to see it for what it was.

At the time, I mostly just felt the thrill - both from the sex and from the look of anger and disappointment that crossed my mother's face whenever she saw me in the act. Her anger and punishments were usually delivered ice cold, but I wanted to break her open. It took a while to get results because after being caught a time or two, my partners would begin to be cautious and it wasn't like I was switching partners weekly. 

Despite my motives, somehow, I had sex in my parents' bed numerous times without incident, but it wasn't until the third time of being caught, that my mother lost her composure. It started off in the usual way, with my mother silently handing the girl's school uniform to her.

"She can't wear that shirt anymore. I ripped off some buttons when I undressed her." The tearing wasn't an accident made in the heat of the moment, it was as preplanned as the location.

"What is wrong with you?" My mother hissed at me through clenched teeth as she went into her closet to get a blouse. "How can you treat someone so lovely with such callousness?" She offered a sympathetic smile to the girl. "If he's done something to wrong you, I promise you I will make it right."

Mother would have loved it if the girl had insisted on establishing a formal relationship, but the girls I slept with were on the same page as I was in that regard.

After my classmate was well out of the house, Mother finally revealed her true concerns to me. Screaming questions one after another without really expecting answers. "How long are you going to be like this? What, are you just having casual sex with anyone you're alone with? Do you even know who her parents are? How is she supposed to explain her shirt? They're going to find out that you've defiled their daughter! What is her father going to do about it? We need them to -- Did you ever think about what would happen if any of these girls tell their families? Oh my god, what if they all start talking about it amongst themselves? Are you trying to ruin our family business? There's no girl at your school who doesn't come from a prominent family and any of them could end up being your wife. I'm trying to give you the opportunity to pick early so stop thinking with your... Well, just stop sleeping around and get engaged already!"