Blue | Rafe Cameron

xlii

"Home sweet home." JJ scoffed- but his tone was anything but sweet.

I watched from the backseat as JJ stared at his home, his face a sheet of dread, knowing the inevitable. That his father would be inside and like any abusive household, he had no idea what condition he would find him in.

It made me sick, violently sick- but also violently angry. At the idea of him speaking to JJ or looking at him, my blood boiled at the idea of him putting his hands on him.

"Do you want us to come with you?" I ask softly and I catch his eyes in the mirror, those two baby blue orbs alive with anxiety and fear- but when they meet mine, I see the conflict in them.

"No, no-" His gaze rips from mine and I fiddle with my belt as he removes his hat idly, tousling his hair, avoiding my eyes and Kiara's. "This will only take a second."

Kiara looks over her shoulder at me and her face mirrors mine as JJ opens the door, his body unnaturally still as he slams it shut behind him and walks to that house- toward that monster inside.

"Should we be worried about him, do you think?" I ask softly, my eyes unable to stop looking out the back window, to that deserted and terrifying house beyond.

"I don't know, I think he's doing okay," Kiara mutters back and a whoosh of thick air escapes her as she turns to look back at me, and I know she can't hold her tongue any longer, "Do I need to worry about you- because I seriously am right now."

I stare at her, and she stares right back- neither of us speaks. I hadn't said much since this morning, and neither had they- but I noticed their pointed glances and worried frowns when they looked at me.

"You don't need to worry about me, Kiara," I try to smile, but it's strained, and Kiara's deepening frown tells me she doesn't buy my words, "Honestly, bigger things are happening right now than me realising I'm an idiot."

"You have a lot happening- your mom, your dad, Ward," Kiara's voice is firm, and her eyes plead with me to just open up, to talk to her- but I can't, the words are stuck, and they won't come out. "And you're not an idiot, you loved him... and he loved you, I saw how Rafe-"

"Don't say his name," The words come out sharper than I intend, my tone so cold that Kiara halts mid-sentence her eyes widening slightly. I sigh, shaking my head and trying to breathe. "I don't want to talk about him or think about him, I just- I need time, please."

"Fine- fine," Kiara sighs, her brown eyes shuttering at the waver in my voice and my body physically relaxes when she leans back in her seat.

"Should I be worried about you?" I ask after a moment, and Kiara raises a brow at me, "You and Pope- that fight this morning before he left seemed intense."

"He told me he loved me last night," She groans, and the sound is deep and rumbling as she shutters her eyes in frustration, "And I told him it wasn't going to happen- in a very mean way."

I stay silent, hiding my surprise expertly.

"You can say it- I'm a total bitch," Kiara glances at me, half-laughing in the most self-deprecating way I'd ever seen her be, "I lead him on and even though I knew I didn't have feelings for him I didn't tell him, I'm an awful person."

"Kiara if you're a bitch then I'm the President of that fucking club," I snort, and her lip quirks in surprise, "What I did to JJ was just as bad, worse even, so you won't get any judgement from me."

"Yeah, but you liked JJ- didn't you?" She furrows her brow and I gnaw on my lip at the question, the mention of the blonde making me glance back at the house- no sign of him. "I mean, if you and you know who hadn't gotten together, it would have been JJ right?"