A Heart Doesn't Break Even. |Max George & Siva Kaneswaran|

The Perfect Movie Date

I opened my eyes, my head was laying on someones lap, my legs on the floor. Looking around it seemed I was safe and sound in my room. Well on the floor. "Hello" I said grabbing my phone from the bedside table. "Nathan, hello? Nath why are you calling me? Hello?" Weird. When I tried to get up I saw the face that belonged to the lap. "Hello gorgeous" I gave Seev a gently kiss and made my way to the bathroom. I turned the shower on and started singing Umbrella. Admit that you love that song, everybody does! I was only just out the shower when a phone - not mine- lit up. "Oh here is my phone!" "Seriously Max, seriously?!"

We arrived at this art studio downtown London. The smell of roses, the shining stars on the black ceiling, beautiful beaches on the walls. It was so beautiful and breathtaking. Speechless. He took my hand and led me to the middle of the big room. We sat down on rose petals, I was still taking it all in while Siva was handeling the Champagne. We looked each other straight in the eye while sipping of our glass. He opened this black box which was behind us and burried the bottle and our glasses in it. He smiled my confusion away as he reached his hand out to me. He pulled me up and pulled me immediately very close to his warm body. His hands were on my hips, my hands around his neck and the man on my lips. We started dancing to this beautiful song that came out of the boxes.

So honey now
Take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Place your head on my beating heart
I'm thinking out loud
Maybe we found love right where we are ❤️

I got carried away by the beautiful decor, the surprise and hearing Siva sing carefully along. I rested my head on his shoulder, now I had a tear falling down my face. Hoping I won't start to sob all over him. The dancing stopped when he slighlty pulled me away. His eyes were locked on mine. He took a step towards me, laid his hand on my cheeks. For a second he turned his head like he was waiting for something. He came closer and almost touched my lips when all of the sudden the beautiful stars became dark clouds, rain was pouring down on us. The first thing that I wanted to do was run. Until his arm on my weist pulled me to his body, his wet hand went through my wet hair. His soft lips made this the most magical kiss ever. This was the plan, a romantic kiss in the rain.

The rain was gone. The floor was dry,
except for the place where we were standing. I couldn't stop smiling this was movie perfect. Certainly.

We were cuddling underneath a blanket to keep us warm and shared some skin. His body keeps me warm, inside and outside. "I think you are very special." He said looking very happy and dreamy. I was enjoying every single minute in his company. He is the only guy I know that would try to do the impossible for me. He makes me realise how much I care about him, like he reads my mind and knew I needed this. I needed him to step up his game. I pulled him in a kiss. "I love you Seev" and kissed him one more time the most passionate that I could do.

I stopped. My mind worked. My mind reminded me that I don't feel safe and sound right here. "I'm scared of everything-I'm scared of what I saw, I'm scared of what I did, of who I am, and most of all, I'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I'm with you." This Dirty Dancing quote was on repeat in my head. That's it. I didn't say it out loud but I should because it is the truth. Right here it's how it's supposed to be when I get back home it would be all over that's what has been going on for a while now. I want to be loved on a very high level. He can do that. Max can not. I will never be his only girl in the world. Never. Holding Siva close to me means that I will be loved. I hope he can't read my mind.