Bada x Howl: Standing Next to You

XXII. Break (Howl POV)

"Do you still love her?"

He looks up, surprised. "Of course. It's not a question of how I feel about her. It's more whether our lifestyles are compatible."

Ye-jun bites her lip, staying quiet, before taking a loud sip of tea. Howl stares at his sister, knowing she's holding back something. "What?"

"Nothing, my new year's resolution is to mind my own business more."

"One, it's not the new year yet. Two, your face still shows it even when you don't tell it."

She smirks at how well her brother knows her. "Fine. I don't think this is a lifestyle issue. I mean, yes, it was a crazy couple months, but you said it yourself - it was only because of the show airing, right? It's not going to be like that forever. Remember how busy you were during Street Man Fighter?"

He fiddles with the black handle of his mug. "Yes, but my schedule was never this crazy."

She half rolls her eyes. "Okay, so her schedule was more intense - I get it. But the public is going to move on to other people and things, that's how all trends work. So it'll calm down, maybe as soon as the new year?"

"Yeah I suppose so..."

"Then what's the real issue?"

He looks away, not meeting her eyes. She was one of the only people in the world who knew him well, sometimes better than he knew himself, and held up a mirror even when it was hard to see. "I don't know...I just wasn't happy. We weren't happy."

"Can I offer my guess?"

"I suppose I asked for it," he laughs, bracing himself for her unabashed opinion.

"I don't think it's a lifestyle compatibility issue unless you truly think this is how things are going to be going forward. I think the bigger issue is communication, including yours. Did you ever tell her you weren't happy before you asked for the break?"

"No. I didn't want to put more pressure on her than she already had."

"Right, but then you held it against her." Her words ring in the silence between them, a cutting truth.

Ye-Jun leans in, her hands cupped on the table. "I know you like to think you don't have any needs, Oppa, but everyone does. And of all people, you should be able to tell your partner. That way, they have the chance to listen and do something about it. Otherwise, it's actually unfair you don't give them a chance to act but later judge them for not acting."

"It just felt selfish for me to say anything. It's not like it was her fault."

"Well, every one of us does things because they're self-serving. Even if you donate to charity - you do it because it makes you feel good about yourself and gives you meaning. I think you need to say what you want and how you feel or it'll turn into resentment."

"But what could she have done? I wouldn't have wanted her to say no to things and then regret it."

"You don't know that though. You told me she was going at an unsustainable pace, so she was probably taking on too much. Who knows? Maybe saying no to one more thing here and there would've not only been better for your relationship but for her too."

"Maybe."

"I think she would've listened and acted," Ye-jun states matter-of-factly.

"How could you know that?"

"Because she agreed to this break, didn't she? I highly doubt she wanted it. Honestly, I don't think I'd agree to it if my boyfriend suggested it - I'd be way too anxious."